Thursday, January 10, 2013

My Wedding Planning- Not off to a good start

Ok I was wrong- very wrong! I stated boldly that I was NOT going to be THAT blogger that was consumed with my wedding and just post on that.  I also did warn you that I would be asking for advice because I have no idea what to do in many aspects of planning my wedding. So I want to retract my statement and say that I may be THAT person after all. I could possibly post more than I thought about wedding thoughts and ideas.
Right now I am stressed to the max because I truly am blindsided on how much weddings are. I have my name on 2 locations for my date and I have until tomorrow to make my decision. The catering is what is KILLING me! Both locations have their own caterers that we have to use and both are very expensive. In fact it’s the catering that will make or break the deals. We’re talking 6000$ on the food, waiters, plates, etc that is involved in the catering.  Yikes! Then I can barely think of the cost of alcohol because that is another couple of Grand. My friends like to party and some family members will need to partake in a few spirits themselves so not having a bar is out of the question. I'm waiting as i write this for a reply from one of the caterers.
You see I am in a bit of a dilemma. My little mom lives in Montana very far away and there are no direct flights that even exist from Dallas into Montana. Some airlines don’t even fly to Montana after September 30 because of the snow. Mom and her husband may even drive and we have to make sure all the highways are open for safe travel so that rules out Fall or early Winter months.  I could do a fantastic outdoor wedding but only in the fall here in Texas. SOOOO, i have no choice but to have an indoor wedding where there is air-conditioning AND wheelchair access for my Dad. Now that we’re talking indoor venues, cue the sound of dollars shuffling like a deck of cards. Cha ching Cha ching too for added sound effects.
Next true concern is that with the chairs (3$ a piece to rent thank you very much), the food ,  and such, I cant afford to pay for all the dozens of kids that belong to my friends and family. I know this is a very very very touchy situation and I get that. However , it will be an evening wedding and we’re talking close to 50$ a head (big head or small head). I still need a dress, a wedding ring for my honey, a honeymoon and so many other expenses that those few thousands of dollars would be needed. I’ve already spoke to my best friend and a cousin and they both understood but I’m afraid others might be upset. I have to look on the web to get suggestions of nice protocol on how to word this on my invites.  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE know that I love and adore children and the boys of one of my closest friends even call me Aunt Holli and spoil them rotten. We wont even go into how much I love my nieces and cousins kids. It’s something that I have to do in order to have a ceremony/reception that will be halfway decent and memorable for me.
Have any of you had or attended a wedding with no children?  
I’m excited that I’m going to my first Bridal Show this weekend in Ft Worth. My girlfriend is meeting me there Sunday morning and we have free passes to get in.  I don’t know what to expect and what all goes on at one of these so I’m looking forward to it.   I also have an “idea” of what style I want my dress to look like.  I have a weekend coming up with my besties to spend the day trying on dresses. EEEKK. Cant wait!
These are my thoughts for this Thursday.   Thanks for listening. Xoxo

26 comments:

  1. Oh girl that sounds shitty. I'm sorry for your dilemmas when all you want to do is celebrate your love! As for no kids, I don't see anything wrong with it. I won't have children at my reception. Your family should understand too. I hope it all works out. We know it will!

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    1. I kmow it will all work out- it's just getting to that point. Sucks being poor! :)

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  2. You poor thing. I'm an old married gal so it's been since the dinosaur age when I tied the knot. However, I helped a friend plan her wedding last year and I was floored at the prices for the most basic of weddings. The price for caterers triples when they hear "wedding". Her advice to everyone is to do a destination wedding because it is cheaper and you don't have to worry about kids. Food for thought.

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    1. Unfortunately some immediate family members cant travel and its important that they witness my wedding. I just have to accept i'll be paying for this wedding well until next year. I'm thinking i should go in the catering business though. Lots of money there.

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  3. Wedding costs are outrageous. When I got married I did as much as I could myself which cut costs a lot. My mother in law made the food for the reception, I made my own flowers (silk) myself, and my husband and I did the decorating the day of the wedding. We had our reception at the church. Nothing as elaborate as you are planning, but it was lovely regardless. I wish you luck. It can be a very stressful time. Don't worry about venting on your blog about your worries about your big day. It is your blog and you can do as you please! It will all work out in the end! ♥

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you for your sweet comments. I'm gonna try to do as much of my own stuff that i can for sure.

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  4. I know the stress you are dealing with. Food costs SO MUCH! I guess because they are adding in using their facilities. I am having this issue with trying to figure out what to do for my daughters first birthday. We don't have a house so having everyone over is a no-no. I thought oh, the restaurant we had our wedding. We just looked this weekend. Their cheapest deal makes the food cost almost $2000! Yea, no. I have no clue what to do and her bday is less than 3 months away.

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    1. Yep the food is much more than the venue itself where the wedding will be. I am still in shock. Good luck with your bday planning too. I'm sure it will be wonderful wherever you decide.

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  5. I'm sending you a hug! ((Holli)) I wish I had some great advice that would make everything OK. Please know that I love you and am praying for you! -Marci @ Stone Cottage Adventures

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    1. I appreciate the hugs and prayers. I will take them at any time. Love you too sweet friend.

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  6. Indoor is pricey, especially when you have to use their caterers! We're not planning on having a bunch of kids there, just a few close family members. I'm lucky enough to be able to say "there is going to be an open fire pit" as a way to let them know not to bring kids though. I'm thinking about you sweetie. Those are not easy decisions you're facing.

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    1. Thank you my friend. It's definitely very stressful right now but i'm still excited. I wished we lived close to attend each others weddings. :)

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  7. Holy shit 6,000 just for the food?? That's insane chica. I feel for you I remember long ago going through all of that! As far as the alcohol is concerned we went for open bar for beer only and if our guest wanted hard alcohol they had to pay for it! It actually saved us a couple of thousand dollars! My family snuck there own tequila in so everyone was happy! lol.. What can I say it was a MEXICAN wedding..

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    1. I'm seriously thinking of telling some folks to sneak their flasks in their pockets and purses. LOL.

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  8. well the thing I'll tell you to remember that it's YOUR WEDDING, not others! And you don't have to be nice to everyone and get what they need.
    Our wedding was just ours and we did what we can afford and like doing. We have like more than half people, specially our relatives and close friends who like to drink and so on. But because it was our wedding, and we didn't want it, we didn't do it. How simple it is! We just nicely explain to people that we don't want alcohol at all and not allowing them to bring any, if they need they can drink outside (which couple of them did).
    Why don't you want to do everything with wedding planner. First of all it's less or not stress to you at all. And it's not so expensive if you hire an individual one, which will charge you what you give them?! I didn't have a wedding planner and thought it's not necessary and will do all by myself. Oh, man, how I was wrong. If I can change something back in my wedding, I'll definitely will hire a planner. I hear that so many times that its your wedding, you have to enjoy it! But because I'm that person who want to be everything ideal and close to perfect, I was the one controlling everything.
    I know it dallas there is a very good restaurant (which we had for our wedding) i believe they do catering and the price starts at $55 per plate. But oh my, this plate of $60 included everything, if I can find a menu of it I will send it to you. We had so much food left that those people who wanted "to go" box got it after 5 hours at the reception.
    outdoor wedding can't say anything except think about to hire wedding planner, they will give the most lovely deals (they can find cheaper deals!). Our restaurant charge $60 per plate with 10 different meals and $30 for kids.
    We didn't point on our invitation "no kids" but on the respond card we wrote who we are expecting. Like Leslie and Mark... but they have a kid, but we didn't include him on a back respond card. But because we had 3 flower girls, 2 junior bridesmaid and a ring bearer we have to include these kids in respond card. There was a family, all their kids (except the small one of 3 years old) were in bridal party and what they did, they bring their little one to ceremony but didn't bring it to reception. They said she is too little for it and they just want to relax and enjoy the wedding, no watching for their own kids. And the word of mouth we share with our friends that we do prefer no kids, except bridal party at the wedding, and mostly people agreed on it. But somehow they bring their kids to ceremony (I wonder, but whole 1 hour and so it was all quite!) and left them with babysitters at their house for reception. And yes we had 2-3 hours break between ceremony and reception.
    Some many ppl said it's not good and not polite not invite kids while you have kids in your wedding party. I don't care what people said but as i said before it's our wedding and we here to enjoy and set our rules, because it's the only one big day for both of us! That's why we didn't invite whole bunch of people who are not friends with us, we wanted only truly friends who understand us.
    BTW when is your wedding? Where do you plan to buy your wedding dress?
    There is also at Fort Worth a lady who custom dresses and she have bunch of wedding dresses to try on and see what do you like. She lives at home and her "studio" is at the house, but you have to call to set an appointment with her. If you need it, I can give you a phone thru e-mail.
    I was expecting so much from bridal show we went last year but nothing special. The one thing I like it is they give you like those special discount at their stores where you can dress for your wedding day from head to toe. It's a very good thing! So grab a lot of them!
    what are you planning to do with music at your wedding, like band or something?

    (oh my, sorry for that long answer, never knew I will write that much... :))

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    1. I am so grateful for your post. What a sweety you are for all of your advice and tips. YES please email the lady in Ft Worth's info. I have an idea on dress but thats about it. My wedding will be Labor Day weekend (last day of August). My email is hollihd@mindspring.com
      Big Hugs to you!! Holli

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    1. Thank you for the wedding website. I appreciate everyone's helpful hints so much.

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  10. i have been to a wedding with no children and it was great!! planning is SOOOOO stressful

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    1. It is stressful indeed! I just know that it will be so fun the night it happens.

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  11. Ironically I walked past a magazine stand this morning noticed Brides and thought thank goodness that is over! Good luck in all your planning - it will all work out and be worth it in the end!

    Shia
    worldaccordingtoshia.blogspot.com

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  13. Wedding planning can be expensive and trying to place all your beloved guests in the venue can be a headache. I’ve once attended a wedding where each invite only corresponds to 2 or 3 guests in order to control the head count, so perhaps you can do that too. Good luck in planning your wedding, and congrats!

    Regards,
    Zachary Payne

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