Thursday, June 4, 2015

Diets suck but being fat sucks more

I struggle with my weight. I'm the heaviest I've ever been. I am a stress eater and I've been stressed for the last few years.  I think I'm the only bride that actually gains weight before their wedding. I almost didn't fit into my dress. 
If you remember though, I got married a month after my dad had his double lung transplant.  I was seriously stressed for several months leading up to that.
It's summer now and you can't go into any stores without seeing swimsuits at the very front.  Makes me cringe! 
I have no one to blame but myself.  When I get home from work I could be walking around the block but instead I sit in the recliner with my dogs in my lap.  Oh and I really love food. My favorite thing is to try new restaurants.  
Many of my friends have bought Fitbits or  other tracking devices lately and they seemed to really like them.  I drank the Kool-aid too.  I decided I was going to do that for myself for my birthday. So a few weeks ago I bought a Fitbit Charge.  It's not the fancy one that measures heart beats and GPS and other bells and whistles.  Must admit, I haven't lost any weight but I do take the long way around to my desk at work and if I'm really close to achieving the 10,000 daily steps, I'll walk around the house or backyard until I do. I figure any extra steps is good. 
I'm so very grateful that my husband is very very supportive and tells me all the time he loves me no matter what and finds me beautiful.  I've had 2 relationships in the past where they were pretty mean and unsupportive if I gained weight. That alone was so stressful. I felt pressured all the time. I know I need to lose the weight for my health but I also want to feel good about myself.  
It's a challenge every day.  I really do love  tacos! 

10 comments:

  1. I'm feeling your pain on this one. I believe you've read that I suffer from migraines. Well... that started chronically, as in daily, back in 2003. My weight went steadily down until I was really too skinny. (Is there such a thing????) When I moved in with my parents in 2006, I started to feel a bit better and began gaining again. Then things took a downward turn in 2009 and I was back down to 100 pounds. And pretty much stayed there until I found my current doctor in 2012. Again, as I started to feel better I started eating more... and more... and more. Well, even though I'm not huge (to most people) I feel huge to myself, and am the heaviest I've ever been in my life. It feels very uncomfortable.

    I need to get a handle on my eating. Whenever my blood sugar drops it cranks up my migraine. So, I eat. Well, my body/brain has now associated eating with feeling better. Oh dear. Life would be easier if I didn't love ice cream and Cheez-Its. Just sayin'.

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  2. "I struggle with my weight. I'm the heaviest I've ever been. I am a stress eater and I've been stressed for the last few years." Bingo, we are truly twins.

    Lately, I'm trying to focus on health, but man - I'm tired of dieting. It wears me out. But I never cease attempts, ha ha.

    I like you at any and ever weight. There's not enough of Holli to go around, as far as I'm concerned.

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  3. I so feel your pain - I love to bake, eat out, entertain, anything that revolves around food. My husband eats to live, I live to eat! He is just like yours, loves me whatever size I may be (sometimes I'm not sure that's a good thing, but I love him for it anyway and it would be grim to be with someone who constantly badgered you about your weight). I am really trying to get back on the healthy eating bandwagon but it is so hard. I love your cartoons and photos!

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  4. Those jokes are hilarious! I love Rebel Wilson. I'm a stress eater too so I can relate to the issue. When I was overweight I went on Weight Watchers and lost 30 pounds. It's a sensible plan and I was able to keep off the weight. I have lots of friends who have a Fitbit and love it!

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  5. Oh my gosh, you have totally read my mind while you typed this didn't you? I feel the same way although I am not a stress eater, I am an emotional eater….you give me an emotion and I will eat. I too am the most heaviest I have been thanks to major stress the last two years. When I go to sleep at night I have all these goals planned out and what and when I will do them. I think there is a memory eraser going on when I sleep because I forget it all when I wake up!! Maybe the reason I haven't set a wedding date yet is that I want to lose weight and haven't yet. Vicious cycle!

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  6. Loved all your cartoons. And unfortunately I identified with most of them!! I gained 50 lbs. taking care of Richard. And now I just don't have the energy to care. I am a stress eater too. The worst kind!

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  7. Love the jokes you shared! I am so thankful your husband is so supportive. Love should never have restrictions attached.

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  8. My Diet Life by Al Penwasser
    Childhood: I was overweight. I didn't care. Donuts.
    Teens: I was overweight. I lost weight. Why? Girls.
    Young Adulthood: With a few exceptions, I kept the weight off. Why? The Navy made me. And...girls.
    Married Self: Kept the weight off. Why? My wife. I didn't want girls to feel sad for her.
    Middle Age: Gained a little weight, but I was concerned. Why? Health reasons. And women.
    Later Middle Age: Hey, can't see much of my feet anymore. Better lose some weight. Why? Don't want to buy new clothes. And probably health. But, really clothes.
    The End?

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  9. I really need to get back to losing weight. I was doing okay, then I got sick and lost a bunch, and then I had to eat to get my strength back, and stopped the running in place and cutting back... and well, now I'm me again. On the other hand, after weeks like the last couple, that coronary doesn't sound half bad. Make it a double!

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  10. It is a constant battle, sweet Holli....one that so many of us fight on a daily basis. Let me know if you ever want to hear about the nutritional cleansing system I am using....it has become a life changer for me! And Todd is right....you are fabulous at any size! Love you!

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