Monday, June 22, 2015

My Nemesis

Hey yall! Hope your weekend was an awesome one.  I had a great weekend and didn't want to come to work today.  So do any of you have a Nemesis? Someone who is your rival , that is more or less your enemy? Unfortunately I do. 
I really really struggle with this person.  Yall, I promise I'm not one of those paranoid  people who think everyone is out to get me and I don't look for problems.   Believe me when I tell you that my nemesis feels the same of me.  In fact it's because of her hatred of me that has caused me so much grief and why I can't stand her.  This sounds so petty as I write this out like a schoolgirl catfight. 
This person "N" for Nemesis literally goes out of her way to get me in trouble, chastise, make me miserable.   
N is a coworker. She even lives in a different state than me. However we work on the same application so i do have to have interaction. I pray for N. I pray for me to have strength to deal with N.  Do you know how much that sucks when you have to think about and pray for your enemy after work hours?  I will go to church and hear all about forgiveness then I'm saying to myself  I can do this. I can forgive N and pray for her then I swear she will turn around and be hateful the next day. Endless battle!  It's like  we are two different religions that will never see eye to eye. 
I rarely post anything real personal on Facebook. I said rarely. I do but not often. Anyway, last Friday I had a horrible day and N contributed mostly to that.  I posted on FB that I HATE myself from feeling the way I do because of her. She presses those buttons that make me explode.  I honestly don't know what to do. I don't think there is anything I can do differently.  She is a mean horrible bully and always has been.  I love my job besides her being with the company.  She's not going anywhere either.  I can only pray for a miracle.  I pray that someone slaps her into tomorrow and she realizes she's a miserable lugnut! I have countless of crazy stories that you wouldn't believe of things she's done to me and said to me. I can't relive them now because I don't have time and my hot flashes are out of control today anyways.  
The ironic thing is one of my sayings I'm known for repeating to my friends is " hate is a very strong word"!  When people say I hate - I usually chime in with very much dislike.  I'm a hypocrite now. I have hate in my heart. Just for this one person.  


So there you have it. Normally I'm more like Pollyanna but I have my moments. 

16 comments:

  1. I was having a bad day until I read your post. It gave me a good laugh. Sometimes no matter how nice you are, there are those who are just going to be mean, hateful, and try to tear you down. That is her problem, not yours. I can only guess that she is a miserable person that doesn't like herself. Hang in there doll!

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  2. Sounds just like the Narcissist I deal with in my neighborhood. I have now resorted to, "No contact" mode, but that would be hard for you to do, given this is a co-worker. I would definitely be documenting her actions and words. Do not tell this person any more personal information about yourself. If you can - put all calls from her on 'speaker phone.' I'm not so much concerned about your job, as your life. You're allowing her to continually abuse you. Stop!

    Never forgive evil. I don't care what religions are or are not involved. This is a workplace. Going on the presumption that there is good and there is evil - try not to let it influence you. Meanwhile, have a look at youtube videos on Narcissist. Try to figure out what you're doing to attract this type of individual into your life. Maybe you think you deserve this treatment. Is there a history of abuse in your life - give it a go and live for yourself.

    You're very courageous to make this post. I applaud you. As for religion: "Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that He will." Give this person to Him and let Him forgive. You step aside, love yourself for trying, and know if this person is a Narcissist, nothing you do will change her. Your strength lies in knowing your boundaries. Become willing to say NO to people like this.

    Please excuse my bluntness, (smile).

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    1. Dixie,
      Bluntness is ALWAYS appreciated. As you have probably realized by now, I'm not shy myself. I do everything in my power to avoid her. I am kind to her when I have to have any interaction with her. Its usually all by email now. There is a history with us - I have been her target for 10 years. You have good advice. I don't allow abuse in my life , I did allow her to bully me years ago and she seems to think she still can. Its a vicious cycle and sometimes there is no reasoning. Its as simple as the fact that she is mean to me and takes pleasure from it. Neither of us will leave our jobs because we both like what we do ( although rumor is she's always applying for other jobs but doesn't get them). I am just lucky that I don't deal with her every day nor sometimes every week. I have a breaking point though and here lately I've been more stressed and grumpy. I am Ok today! Thank you for your sweet support , concern and encouragement. You are awesome and hope you feel better.

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  3. You know my thoughts from FB. I would add, Dixie is spot-on.

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  4. Can't say there's anyone in my life who I truly hate. Quite a few I'm not fond of, though.
    Most of what I share on Facebook involves skeletons.
    NOTE: Plastic, not real ones. Like I said, I can't think of anyone I hate.

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  5. Holli you are an amazing person and I'm sorry you have to deal with this person at the job you love so much. I found the best way to deal with mean spirited people is to kill them with kindness and to live my best life. It really eats them up. And, Dixie's advice is excellent.

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  6. I love your post. I have and have had people like this in my life. What I have found is that the older I get the less these kind of people bother me. I wish I had some advice for you but I don't . Retirement is what helped me more than anything :)

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    1. I've got a lot more years of work to do before I can retire. You are very lucky!

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  7. So, let me get this straight: you don't like this person? You seem so "on the fence" about it. (smirk)

    Dixie is spot on with the answer she gave. "No contact" would be best. If you can work with someone else on these joint ventures, I'd do that. Ask your boss if that is possible.

    Life is too short for people who purposefully make others miserable.

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  8. I think Dixie nailed this one.

    I'm sorry you're dealing with this nonsense. I'm going to pray for you.

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    1. All prayers are always appreciated! Thank you Robin.

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  9. I had a next door neighbor that absolutely tore my heart out. Every time I drove into the neighborhood, I would get this twist in my stomach. Looking back, it just wasn't worth it. Life is too short to let people control your emotions.
    I have to jump on the Dixie bandwagon: always have her on speakerphone & document!!!

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  10. Work should be a joyful experience. What a pity to have it otherwise. Often the universe steps in and will solve your problem for you. Here's to the universe.

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  11. I'm so sorry. Our daughter has someone who does that to her and I don't understand other than I think people who do that are jealous of you and your life.

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  12. I seriously can't imagine anyone not liking you, but just remember - MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!!! Love you, friend!

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  13. I seriously can't imagine anyone not liking you, but just remember - MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!!! Love you, friend!

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