Thursday, November 19, 2015

Just a little Unwell

I made the first step.  I called our company EAP line.  I get 6 free counseling sessions once i can find a counselor in my area that can take new patients. They are not licensed to prescribe happy pills which is OK. I"m not sure if i am ready to be on Zoloft or any other happy pill just yet.  I used to wake up happy naturally.  I'm hoping it comes back.  If not, i am all about trying something that will help.   So  i'm close but havent got any help yet.
Update on Nanny, the last few days she felt worse and her face looks really bad.  Mostly its still the pain in her arms and hands. They still hurt to touch them and she cant pull up her blanket when she's sitting in her chair.  If it doesnt get better, my uncle is taking her to a neurologist to check for severe nerve damage.  She's in better spirits as of yesterday and one hand hurts a smidgen less than it has.
I still cry everyday.  I havent replayed the scenario over and over like before but it still happens.

Tuesday they tore up my guest bedroom and hallway to fix the hot water pipe that had hole in it.  My head is finally not vibrating from all the jackhammering that went on.  So loud and they shook the whole house.  Now someone has to come and replace the hardwoods and a chunk of drywall they cut out from the wall.  Once they do that, i can move all my stuff back into the bedroom.  I had to empty that room completely and so i have a clothes, dresser, nightstand, and a million other things you can cram into a spare room all spread out in our den, master bedroom and the other guest room.  I cant put up Christmas next weekend until i can get house in order.  Ugh!!!

My brother n law and sister n law are finally getting married this Monday.  I've called her sister-n-law forever so now it will be official.  I am driving to their house in Ft Worth tonight to help with last minute decorations for the ceremony.  That makes me happy to have something joyful to look forward to.

This song says it all for me right now and yall know that Matchbox 20 and Rob Thomas are one of my all time faves ever!

Friends,  Your comments from my last post meant everything to me.  They made me cry but they were tears of gratitude and blessings.  Hey,i'm going to cry anyways so why not over sweet friends.
Believe me when i tell you that your kindness, caring and support really are getting me through my days.  I read them over and over and i wonder how did i get so lucky that God crossed our paths.
Thank you!


  1. Hi, dear Holli! Genuine friends rally round when one of their own is hurting. Let this outpouring of love and compassion remind you that we are all here for you even if you can't see our faces. Our caring is as real as it gets. Today's report from you is encouraging because even slightly better news is something to hold onto, something to give you hope for better times ahead. Take baby steps at first as you move back toward normalcy, and longer strides later when you have regained your equilibrium. I will continue to pray for Nanny's complete recovery. I am hoping that, come Christmas, there will be much to celebrate around your family. Congratulations to your brother-in-law and sister-in-law as they prepare for their wedding ceremony. Give yourself a break and turn your attention to them and this happy occasion.

    God bless you, dear friend Holli!

    1. I am thinking about you this Thanksgiving Day, dear Holli. Today when I gather with my family I will say a prayer for yours and give thanks for our friendship.

  2. I think you have had a lot on your plate lately. And that will cause one to not be a happy, jolly person. Called life!! Situational depression! Whatever you want to call it, it happens to most of us. I am glad you are going to find someone to talk to about all of it. I am not sure you need "happy pills" though. So many doctors are quick to prescribe. I took Zoloft once. It wasn't fun getting off it. Maybe it will be different for you. Weddings will make for more joyful days ahead. And for some Christmas brings nothing but joy!! I'm thinking of you my friend!

  3. Yikes. That is a mess. I'm so glad that they are done jackhammering. I'm not sure I could've stood that... migraines!

    My mom took a tumble at church on Valentine's Day. Or around Valentine's Day. There was a dinner at the church and her foot caught on the threshold when we were going into the fellowship hall. She was DOWN. She landed on her knees and hands. Her knees and legs hurt for the longest time (much longer than you'd think they would) and her hands bruised terribly. What I'm saying is that when we get older we just don't heal as quickly and the aches and pains last longer. So, I'd try not worry about nanny. I doubt there's anything seriously wrong with her. She just isn't going to heal as quick as she did before (but she's probably Okay).

    Hang in there girl. Still praying for you!

  4. Glad you are getting help. Depression is too insidious to treat lightly.

  5. Its okay to feel depressed sometimes, but in length it can grab you. Put your face into the sun and feel it for a few minutes. Hope you feel better soon.

  6. You've got a good head on your shoulders to approach depression as something that needs to be overcome and I'm so glad that you are getting help. I think the wedding will be a welcome distraction and I wish the happy couple all the best. We'll chat when you return - I've got something to mail to you, girl! Love and hugs.

  7. Hi Holli! If I didn't know any better, I'd think that song was telling my own life about now. I am prayerfully, grateful to not have depression along with the physical distress I'm experiencing. Life goes on.

    Have fun at the wedding. Any time you can work with your hands, (like making decorations) has a calming effect. Tuck away whatever strength and peacefulness you feel, and take it with you for another day. One sweet, quiet memory can banish a thousand negative thoughts.

    You're in my thoughts, girl.

    Love, Dixie

  8. Congrats on the wedding. Sorry your grandmother is hurting and I pray that they can help her. Wow, what a mess you are dealing with. So sorry......((HUGS)) Praying for your peace of mind.

  9. Home repairs are no fun. What a hassle!

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

  10. I'm still keeping you in prayer. Happy Thanksgiving and much love!

  11. Glad to see things are on the mend. At least in your house. You are still dealing with a lot, and I feel bad you still are. I'm hoping things brighten up in the next few weeks. Sometimes you have to take it one day at a time, one cry at a time. True, you have good friends, keep drawing on them for comfort and support. Hope grandma feels better soon.

  12. Just dropping by to say I hope you and yours had a terrific Thanksgiving and long holiday weekend!


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