Monday, January 16, 2017

Fly away sweet Queen Bee

Saturday was an emotional day. It was the same day we had Daddy's funeral a year ago. My stepmom Deb wanted to host a Celebration of Life party for Dad.  I was dreading it but it ended up better than anticipated.  I was going to fill you in on the party today but that post has to wait. When we got home that evening and was settling on the couch, i went on Facebook on my phone. One of the first posts i saw was someone saying goodbye to one of my friends Brittany. I couldnt believe it. I said out-loud to Todd " Oh No ! Little Brittany is gone".   Earlier that morning, i had posted a Happy Birthday post on her page.  I later read that she had gone into the hospital late Friday night and passed away early Saturday morning on her birthday.
I met Brittany around 5 years ago through blogging.  Her blog was BeeLittleQueen and then changed the name to Sunny Tales and Happy Mail.  Pretty much very soon after i started blogging. She was one of my first blogging friends where we always commented on each others posts.  We eventually became friends on Facebook and Instagram which was great. I never got to meet her face to face in person because she lived in Arizona. Brittany was in a wheelchair and lived on a ventilator since she was 23.  She had Spinal Muscular Dystrophy and had to start on wheelchair when she was 11 years old. She had to live in a special home for those who needed 24 care with her ventilator, etc.
We would text each other periodically and we always sent little packages to each other.  We even switched maxi skirts one summer.  She loved fashion and makeup and we would talk about her favorite brands, etc.
The last few years , Brittany struggled with her health more and more. She went into the hospital a few time due to infection around her trach, air leaking, etc.  From there it was domino effect with other parts of her body.  She didnt post the whole year of 2016 on her blog. Luckily she would post on IG or FB so i could see some activity from her.
A few years ago, she started going to the Church of Latter Day Saints and met some new friends. Brittany eventually got baptized and joined the church. She loved it and i was happy for her to have a new community of friends to hang out with and look after her.  She came from a hispanic Catholic family and had posted that she knew many of her family didnt agree with the Mormon church but they also encouraged her to make her own decisions.
Brittany was always the most positive person i ever knew. She had the most beautiful outlook of life and the sweetest biggest smile.  She so badly wanted to have a boyfriend and to marry one day.  Brittany wanted what all young women want. She was no different .
I will miss my sweet little friend but she is soaring high with the angels. Had i known just a few hours earlier, i would have dedicated a balloon just for her.  In fact, i actually grabbed 2 balloons to release for Dad which was funny.
I normally dont pick a word for my year like so many do.  I've tried once or twice and never carried through.  I am choosing Brittany's word Mindful .  I feel the need and it came to me last night while i was wide awake until 2am to carry on her word this year. The word is a good one and it applies to me as well.  I want to have a mindful year of what i am grateful for and pull my head out of the dark grieving hole i've been in.
Definition from dictionary (online) mind·ful
ˈmīn(d)fəl/
adjective
  1. conscious or aware of something.
    "we can be more mindful of the energy we use to heat our homes"





13 comments:

  1. What a lovely tribute to your friend. Such a lovely smile in spite of all of the trials she faced. Rest in Peace, Brittany.

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    1. She really had the best attitude of anyone i knew that would have every reason to be grumpy.

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  2. Hi, dear Holli!

    My heart goes out to you, dear friend, as you endure even more emotion charged days and nights. I am very sorry that you are experiencing so much loss in your life. Thank you for sharing the essence of your beautiful friend Brittany. With all her health challenges from a very early age, Brittany maintained a great attitude and touched many lives with her warm and generous spirt. I know she is in a better place, as is your dear Dad.

    My thoughts are with you, dear friend Holli!

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    1. Thank you Shadester!! I'm just not sure how much more loss i can bear.
      :(

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  3. Sorry for the loss of your friend. She seems like an amazing person.

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    1. Karen, She had such a beautiful outlook on life and so generous. Always caring for others. So special!

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  4. Thoughts and prayers with you- and hers. Hope this isn't the harbinger of another bumper crop for the Reaper.

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    1. SSSHHH- dont say it outloud. We need a break- a long break! Thank you for the prayers

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  5. Oh, Holli. My heart is heavy for Brittany, her family, and you. I'm so sorry. You were gifts to each other. These blog ties run very deep, even when we never meet in person. May her memory comfort you and help encourage you through a path of mindfulness.
    Love and cyber hugs.

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    1. Thank you for the hugs and love. Brittany was a gift. I truly loved her sweet soul.

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  6. ((Hugs)) So sorry to hear about your blog friend. Take care....

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  7. I am so very sorry for your loss.....
    I did stop by to thank you for taking the time to visit...
    Hugs<
    Deb

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  8. What a wonderful tribute for your friend! So sorry for your loss. She sounds like she had it all together. I love her word 'mindful'. I am happy she is now with Jesus!!

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