I have lost my hero, my superman, my beacon light

Tomorrow will be one week that my sweet precious Daddy took his last breath.  It doesn't seem like a week already with the funeral and everything else.  It seems like it was just a few hours ago.  I am not OK. I am not accepting this well and NO everything is NOT going to be OK.   This is all one big blur and I don't want to wake up and remember anything.   Last Sunday while at church, I bent over to grab phone out of purse to send text to Deb reminding her that Todd and I were coming over to visit Dad and her after church.  She had already sent me a text saying she was on way to hospital with Daddy.  Todd and I got there a little after noon.  He was in Emergency Room having tests done. He was in pain and his oxygen wasn't good.  That evening his lung doctor came in and said that there was no more they could do surgically or medically.  They could put him on a ventilator and have machine breathe for him ( imagine Christopher Reeves in wheelchair with oxygen) and he would never speak again.  Daddy refused any other options. He said he was tired of fighting and he was ready to go.  I was in the room when this was decided.  I felt like I was in a bubble looking down on someone elses discussion.   We started crying and saying goodbyes. My aunt Brenda was there and she called her daughter to bring my grandma Mimi up.  Any family that was out of state ( my aunt Tammy, her husband, her 2 sons, my stepbrother and stepsister) we put them on speaker phone to say their goodbyes. We thought it might be that night.  In meantime, all mentioned were booking flights and my stepbrother and stepsister managed to get there that evening on Sunday.  Aunt Tammy and Brad came in and got to see him on Monday.  Monday was a very rough day. Daddy was getting morphine shots to keep him comfortable but not on the morphine continuous drip yet.  That started later Monday evening.  The idea was just to keep him as comfortable as possible and or him to stay asleep and wake up in Heaven.  Monday night and all of Tuesday he no longer spoke.  Early Tuesday morning he could shake his head and indicate if he wanted water or need more meds.  I was getting a migraine. I had not left his side but a few hours every morning to go home and change.  Todd would come home to be with the our dogs and I stayed all nights at hospital. I didn't sleep at all. I would look out the windows and pray and hold Daddy's hand.  Todd would pick me up around 5 a m and take me home to shower and change.  Tuesday afternoon more of his friends were coming in to visit. Word was getting around.  We didn't deny anyone a chance to see him and say goodbye as long as they didn't try to wake him.  I stepped out of the room for about an hour and was in lounge talking with Todd and my cousins. I stood up to go to the bathroom and visit Daddy again. I missed being in the room if I was gone for too long.  AS I got out of the bathroom, my stepsister just said my name and I looked in her eyes. I ran down the hallway into his room.  My grandma, Deb and my aunts were all in there crying.  I kissed his head and his hands.   I grabbed my stuff and told Todd to take me home.  Someone had started playing music Amazing Grace by Chris Tomlin and it was just too much.  Yall know how much I love music and I like that song but not then- not immediately after Daddy took his last breath. 
Wednesday we spent the day at funeral home getting all the arrangements done.  We had to get the pictures and music together too.  On way home I was feeling really really bad and just thought it was a bad cold from crying so hard. I get upper respiratory infections though very easy so I asked Todd to make me an appointment for CareNow.  They will call you when they're ready and you can wait at home instead of at clinic.  I was there for 2.5 hours and I have pneumonia. I was running 102 fever and was delirious. I am so grateful for Todd. He drove, picked up prescriptions and never left my side.  Thursday was the rosary and memorial at the funeral home.  It was nice and people stood up and shared funny stories about Dad.  Lots of people came from all times of his life.
Friday was the funeral. It was at the catholic church that Deb attends and they got married at.   Once everyone is seated, the priest blesses the casket and says a prayer and we follow the coffin down the long aisle to our seats at front of altar.  It immediately dawned on me that the last time I walked down the aisle of a long way was with my Daddy as he gave me away at my wedding.  I cant shake this. I guess its really messing with my head. I walked with him to get married and 2 years later I walk with his coffin at his funeral.  
Afterwards we had the reception at his house at the farm. We had it catered with BBQ and we had tons of beer, wine and food. It was nice and its exactly what Daddy would have wanted.  And now we are here. Grasping to make sense of what just happened this last week.  I miss him so much I cant breathe. My life feels drastically different.  This was so unexpected.  Part of being a transplant patient is that you go in and out of hospital a lot for tests.  Practically routine. Daddy always comes home.
It doesn't seem real. 

His obit. I had an old picture in my pocket from digging through his pictures. We had to have one real quick to make the paper deadline and so we used this one.  Oh well!

Mark Schmitz went home to be with the Lord on January 12, 2016 surrounded by family and loved ones, our beloved husband, daddy, son, brother & Papa

Mark owned and operated Schmitz Carpet Care and Schmitz Industries until 2005 when he retired to his beloved High Meadow Arabian Farm Breeding and Boarding Facility wherein he remained actively involved.  His passions include horses, animals, antique cars, watching old westerns, motor cycles and spending time with his many ‘Best’ friends.  He will be most fondly remembered by his love of music, zeal for life and never failing sense of humor.  

Visitation will be Thursday, January 14, 2016 at DeBerry Funeral Directors, 2025 West University, Denton, TX 76201 from 6:00 to 8:00 with Rosary said at 7:00 pm.  A Funeral Mass will be held Friday, January 15, 2016 at 2:00 P.M. at St. Mark Catholic Church with Father George officiating.  

He is survived by his wife Deborah Schmitz, his mother Laveta Schmitz, his daughter Holli Myers and husband Todd, his daughter Rachelle Ines and husband Henry, his son Draeger Valencia and Susie, his grand children Paloma and Ava Ines, his sisters Brenda Davis and Tammy Buckman and husband Brent.  He is also survived by multiple nieces, nephews, great nieces and great nephews.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Mark’s memory to St. Mark Catholic Church Building Fund, 6500 Crawford Rd., Denton TX 76226 or Transplant Service Center, UT Southwestern Medical Center, 5303 Harry Hines Blvd., Dallas, TX 75390-9074.  

He was loved beyond measure and will be missed by many.   Also, he was a ‘Howdja’  rockstar! https://youtu.be/VJCK_OttZxg