Fly away sweet Queen Bee

Saturday was an emotional day. It was the same day we had Daddy's funeral a year ago. My stepmom Deb wanted to host a Celebration of Life party for Dad.  I was dreading it but it ended up better than anticipated.  I was going to fill you in on the party today but that post has to wait. When we got home that evening and was settling on the couch, i went on Facebook on my phone. One of the first posts i saw was someone saying goodbye to one of my friends Brittany. I couldnt believe it. I said out-loud to Todd " Oh No ! Little Brittany is gone".   Earlier that morning, i had posted a Happy Birthday post on her page.  I later read that she had gone into the hospital late Friday night and passed away early Saturday morning on her birthday.
I met Brittany around 5 years ago through blogging.  Her blog was BeeLittleQueen and then changed the name to Sunny Tales and Happy Mail.  Pretty much very soon after i started blogging. She was one of my first blogging friends where we always commented on each others posts.  We eventually became friends on Facebook and Instagram which was great. I never got to meet her face to face in person because she lived in Arizona. Brittany was in a wheelchair and lived on a ventilator since she was 23.  She had Spinal Muscular Dystrophy and had to start on wheelchair when she was 11 years old. She had to live in a special home for those who needed 24 care with her ventilator, etc.
We would text each other periodically and we always sent little packages to each other.  We even switched maxi skirts one summer.  She loved fashion and makeup and we would talk about her favorite brands, etc.
The last few years , Brittany struggled with her health more and more. She went into the hospital a few time due to infection around her trach, air leaking, etc.  From there it was domino effect with other parts of her body.  She didnt post the whole year of 2016 on her blog. Luckily she would post on IG or FB so i could see some activity from her.
A few years ago, she started going to the Church of Latter Day Saints and met some new friends. Brittany eventually got baptized and joined the church. She loved it and i was happy for her to have a new community of friends to hang out with and look after her.  She came from a hispanic Catholic family and had posted that she knew many of her family didnt agree with the Mormon church but they also encouraged her to make her own decisions.
Brittany was always the most positive person i ever knew. She had the most beautiful outlook of life and the sweetest biggest smile.  She so badly wanted to have a boyfriend and to marry one day.  Brittany wanted what all young women want. She was no different .
I will miss my sweet little friend but she is soaring high with the angels. Had i known just a few hours earlier, i would have dedicated a balloon just for her.  In fact, i actually grabbed 2 balloons to release for Dad which was funny.
I normally dont pick a word for my year like so many do.  I've tried once or twice and never carried through.  I am choosing Brittany's word Mindful .  I feel the need and it came to me last night while i was wide awake until 2am to carry on her word this year. The word is a good one and it applies to me as well.  I want to have a mindful year of what i am grateful for and pull my head out of the dark grieving hole i've been in.

Definition from dictionary (online) mind·ful

ˈmīn(d)fəl/

adjective

adjective: mindful

1. conscious or aware of something.

   "we can be more mindful of the energy we use to heat our homes"