Meditation /Yoga

So , show of hands how many of you meditate and/or do yoga?  I suffer from great anxiety. It’s a new thing for me as of last 3 years.  Its been getting worse- I’m sure it has nothing to do with what all life has dealt me in the last few years.  I genuinely want to get into yoga and true deep meditations.  I have my own version of meditating where I’ll just sit alone and close my eyes and take deep breaths.  When its not so hot or pouring down rain, I like to walk outside to my back patio and I stare into my pool. When I was in California, I can get lost in just watching the waves and the ocean come in. Its therapeutic to me.  I feel I have a good start to learning meditation. I’ve been to a yoga class one time. It was a few years ago and I had a free pass for 2 nights in a row and then that was all.  Mostly because it wasn’t close to where I lived or worked so it was inconvenient to join that yoga studio.  However, I enjoyed it. In fact, I am not a sleeper and when I did yoga for those 2 nights, I slept SOOO good!  And yet here I am years later with insomnia and stress.  I need to find a place local that will help this 50something woman start from scratch on yoga and meditations.

I captured all these sayings from Pinterest.  They are helpful minus not able to pronounce some of those positions. Haha!

Do you have any helpful tips on meditation or yoga? I would love to hear what helped you.  A friend of mine suggested finding a guided meditation app and having someone walk me through it. I am going to do that . I am open to your suggestions.  What do you do to calm yourself ?   If I only I could just move to the ocean…….

Unusual Questions

Good morning yall!! I came across a long list of questions on Tumblr the other day and i thought that it would make for some fun blog posts if i split them up.  I love question and answer posts and they're easy to do.  You're more than welcome to copy and paste the questions and post on your own blog so we can read your answers.

    1*   Spotify,Soundcloud,Pandora, iheartradio?   I listen to iheartradio in the mornings when I get ready and during slow times at work with my earphones. Todd uses Spotify along with his band mates from church.

2*       Is your room messy or clean?  Clean for the most part. Mostly what makes it look messy is our clean laundry that needs put away.

3*       What color are your eyes? Mine are a light brown. Some have said they’re more like Hazel.  I have noticed there are times they look pretty dark too.  Makeup of course enhances the color. I really really wanted blue eyes and was jealous for years. I finally embraced my brown.

4*       Do you like your name? Why?  I do like my name.  I don’t come across too many people at one time with same name. Of course my mom spelled it nontraditional and it ends with just an “I”.  People always want to use a"Y" or" ie. "  Supposedly I was named loosely from Buddy Holly.  My grandma was best friends with Buddy Holly’s cousin Dennis. 

5*     What is your relationship status? I am married and this month is my 3^rd wedding anniversary. 

6*     Describe your personality in 3 words or less?  Loyal, brutally honest, big heart

7*     What color hair do you have? Well now, my natural hair color is medium brown.  I colored my hair with a black cherry tint back in march that I’ve continued to keep up. So its brown with dark pink tint. With lots of gray mixed in.

8*       What kind of car do you have and what color? I drive a red Toyota Tacoma pickup truck. 

9*       Where do you shop? I frequent target and kohls more than any shops total.  I am a shopper though so I like finding new places which also includes thrift shopping and garage sales.

110*  How would you describe your style?  I would say bohemian biker cowgirl.  I love my boots and I love tie dye and flowy skirts .

**  Favorite social media account:  probably Instagram . although I do use FB daily due to keeping up with my family, etc.

12* What size bed do you have? Thankfully a king.  We started with queen and a few years ago invested in a king and its awesome. Especially when you add 2 dogs in the mix.

13*   Favorite snapchat filter? I do not and will not use snapchat. I don’t understand it and from what I hear your posts go away so why bother?

14*   If you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? Why?  I would say California.  I love everything about it – having ocean and mountains within hours reach depending on where you are. I love the laid back vibe . I lived in Cali growing up in middle school and I’ve missed it ever since. I love Texas and proud to be Texan as well but would go to Cali tomorrow if given the chance and the money to afford it!

15*  Any siblings? Yes I have a brother and a step brother and step sister.  My steps both live in California and my brother lives in Oklahoma.

That is enough for now. I will have a new list later.  Some of these answers today you probably already know about me but maybe you'll learn something new about me down the road with other questions. Cant wait to learn more about you!

Have a great day!

M - making memories and music

Hey yall - happy Wednesday! I'm working this week in Southern California south of LA. I absolutely love being here! California is one my most favorite happy places.  I used to live in Cali when I was in junior high.  To think I could have been a surfer girl..... 

I have a good number of friends that I love to hang out with and visit when I come here.  I actually feel bad that I'm not able to spend more time with a few of my friends this week.  My college roommate and best friend Julie lives here specifically in Pacific Palisades that's a little more than an hour to get to from where I'm at.  We had dinner tonight and I'm spending the night with her Thursday night.  I'm so excited to see the kids and hang out like old times.  

I had dinner with great friends last night with Brandon and Ben.  They are so much fun and we go to the coolest restaurants.  We ate last night at a place called Phlights.  It was a tapas place and it was amazing!! We shared meatballs, bacon wrapped dates , a pork taco with bean sauce , a cheeseburger and I had sangria.  SOOOO delicious! 

Tomorrow night  visiting my friend Rosa and I can't wait for that.   Truth is, I was very close to moving in with Rosa and being roommates with her. I had broken up with my ex- boyfriend and really wanted to move to Cali. Todd came along and changed those plans. Lol!  I don't regret my decision for a minute but I do miss California.  I love my job and I love seeing my good friends that I don't get to see too often. To me, that's making memories while also working hard.  

I was going to post some songs too but my laptop is being fussy.  I was going to post a song by Matchbox 20 which I love! 

The lead singer is Rob Thomas and I just saw him in concert last month with my friend Theresa.  Made memories that night as well. 

Have a wonderful day yall! 

K for Kids

I've posted only a few times on my blog about my having kids. Mostly in the fact that I couldn't have any.  I have a few things going against me in the whole baby department.  It's pretty personal but  honestly now at my age- I have nothing to hide.  To start I have endometriosis, uterine fibroids and uterine cysts , PCOS ( polycystic ovary syndrome )and a tipped uterus.  It just wasn't in the cards for me to bear children.  With all I had going against me, I also had to have some permanent procedures a few years back that sealed the deal such a a tubal ligation and a endometrial ablation. Not to overload with details but I had no choice due to the excessive bleeding and abnormal monthly periods. Surgery was my only option to have a piece of normal life.  

Truth is for the most part I am and have always been Ok with these cards that God dealt. I think I always knew even as a teenager that I may not have kids and so I started at a young age pretending I didn't want them.  I was always going to be a business women and have a career first.  I also had a few long term relationships where neither of my boyfriends wanted children.  It wasn't  until I reached my 40's that being childless started to hurt.  I have a few times a year that I have a pity party for myself and have a good ol ugly cry.  I've pretty much excluded attending any baby showers.  What can I add to the conversations?  Understand though- I am truly genuinely delighted and excited for my friends and family.  I've not once asked why them and not me.  I don't have an ounce of anger or sadness when I hear the news of someone else expecting.  Pinky swear!!  

It's the whole deal of not having someone to pass my possessions too and to visit me at the nursing home. I have a wedding dress that I can't hand down. Silly stuff like that is what makes me sad.  I've lived a very full life up until now and not sure what it would have been like if kids were included.  I traveled a lot more with my job a few years ago and I couldn't have done it with kids. 

The good news is that Todd has 2 kids from his first marriage so I became instant stepmom.  They are teenagers and they are great kids! I have 4 nieces and many friends who's kids call me Aunt Holli.  I am blessed with children that love me and that I can love on whenever I want.   

People sometimes pity me or can't understand why I didn't have kids.  It's no ones business.  I wish others would stop and realize that we didn't ask for these decisions that were made for us- we just learn to live them with and accept them an enjoy life no matter what. Mothers Day gets to be a little harder.  I have friends and family that struggle with infertility and that's who i cry for.  They ache for a baby. I didn't marry until 2 years ago and I'm in my late 40's. I'm sure that had I married at a younger age, I would have a different story.  As for me now, I have 2 awesome furry babies that I adore. 

Have a wonderful day!! I'm currently flying to LA today because I'm training classes all week in our Downey, CA office. My best friend from college lives close by and I'm so excited to visit her. Matter of fact , her 3 kids have always called me Aunt Holli.