Fear

It just keeps getting worse.   I'm struggling.  I am moving through a fog - so numb.  Please please pray for me.

I'm getting a crown and not the fancy tiara kind

I am such a baby! I just really really really detest going to the dentist for any kind of dental work.  I had braces as a kid for almost 4 years. During those 4 years I wore neck gear, head gear, rubberbands, a protractor thingamajig ( I hat to sleep with it and bite into ), and any other contraption they could come up with.  I dealt with it because I had jacked up teeth.  True  Story.  I did however lose my retainer the first year I got it and it was before the day they permanently put them on bottom teeth.  My teeth have since shifted and are a little crooked again. Dangit!!
I have always gone twice a year for my checkups and do the best dental hygiene I can.  Around 4 years ago I went to a dentist for checkup and was told I needed a crown. Um ok sure. I always heard they were harmless and really no big deal.  Leave it to my experience to have the worst.  The dentist had to make a mold, and then put in a temporary crown.  It was very painful and I was traveling for work every week then. I was in California the next week which is my favorite place to visit and I stayed in the hotel room after work and cried.  I called the Dentist from the airport and they said yes just get here before we close which was 5 on Friday. I drove like crazy thru traffic and when I got there, she (Dentist) was in a hurry to get out and didn't see me. Then she proceeded to make me schedule another apt with her the next week which luckily I was in town . I was then told I needed a root canal and that I would have to go to a specialist.  It just kept getting worse! I scheduled an appointment with the Specialist and I kept feeling what she was doing after 5 shots of Novocain. That made her stop and then reschedule for yet another appointment and I had to take a pill to knock me out and someone had to pick me up.  A month of discomfort still with a temporary crown, I finally got the root canal ( hundreds of dollars later) and got a permanent crown ( much anguish later).


The week I was leaving for Sturgis I had my ordinary checkup when I was told I needed a crown on one of my teeth that still has a silver filling from almost 30 years ago. Needless to say I almost broke into tears.  I have had such anxiety leading up to today.  The good news is that I have a new dentist that I really like. In fact, I fired/quit going to the Dentist who put me through Hell on the last crown and that was when I found this one I have now.  He is aware of my horrible time with last crown and he's so sweet. He promised me it wont be like that. Fingers crossed!  Say a little prayer for me around 2:30 central time.

Stronger than my fear

Ok so it's already Wednesday and this is my 2nd post of the week.  I had intentions of posting yesterday but I got pretty busy at work.  I've got so much on my mind right now that I get a little frozen and not sure what move to make next. 

I am struggling with something right now that I'm not comfortable sharing on my blog.  I will say that it's made me fearful and I'm not comfortable with that feeling. 

My old catholic schooling kicks in and I've said the Our Father and Hail Mary prayers at least a couple of hundred times this past few weeks. 

My faith is strong. I am disappointed that I've allowed myself to be scared. I've found these quotes and scriptures to help remind me that I'm not alone. 

I hope you have a very good day and if you believe in prayer, I could use a prayer for peace and strength and no more fear. 

Thanks y'all!  XO. Holli