Tuesday Tunes and Oh there is only 4 more days ....

I am loving this song!!! Its Kelly Clarkson's Tie It Up.  She is also engaged to her fiancé and was planning a wedding and just recently made the news with decision that they are eloping due to busy schedule.  The video is fun.
I'm not planning on  posting the rest of this week and will be out of town without my laptop next week. I will be posting pics the next time i'm around this here ol blog of my wedding!
Thank you for all the love , support, and encouragement .

 

 

 

 

Soon to be a Mrs...

8 days and counting

Well its Friday and my last day to work in the office for the next 2 weeks. I get to work from home next week on Monday and Tuesday and then I’m off for the rest of the week. I’m driving to East Texas (2 hours one way) to pick up Mom from my grandma’s (Nanny) where she’s been all week. When I booked her ticket I knew that I needed to include time for her to visit the family aside from all the wedding happenings next week. I am so happy to have Mom with me all next week to experience everything with me. Her Lupus has really flared up in the hot hot weather we’ve been having (98 degrees) in Texas and she hasn’t been feeling well. Thank goodness she wasn’t here 2 weeks ago when it was 103 degrees. The good news is that Dad has every plan to walk me down the aisle. He’s been doing physical therapy twice a week and walking a little around the house. He will still have to use a walker and wear a mask but he will be next to me!! To have BOTH of my parents with me means everything in the world to me. I am very fortunate that my parents get along OK and there is no ugliness. I was 4 when they divorced so that was kind of a long time ago! I have most all things checked off my list minus one big detail- my hair!! I have long crazy curly coarse hair and its impossible to do much with it. Todd wants me to wear it up like in a bun but I don’t know how to do that. Lauren and I will be playing hair salon after the rehearsal dinner next Friday night. LOL- how’s that for waiting until the last minute. Mom and I will get pedicures tomorrow and then one day next week we will get our nails done. It just takes too long to do both the same day. I never have my nails done and so that will be a change to have pretty painted nails. One of my close girlfriends (Panda) is a licensed cosmetologist and facialist and she’s doing my makeup hours before the wedding. She came over this week and we did our practice run and I am so excited! Something else ya’ll may not know is that I don’t wear eyeshadow and never learned how to wear that either. I will look so different and Todd will not recognize me. Hehe . I had a won a free facial from a MaryKay lady when I went to a bridal show back in January. She came over last weekend and did facials and makeup for Mom and I and it was a lot of fun. The lady (Cindy ) actually lives down the road from me and so she offered to come do Mom’s makeup for the wedding. I love that Mom will be getting some special treatment and will feel special too during preparation. I had a collage of two 5x7's pics of my bridal portraits framed for my mom. When i gave it to her she started crying and it was such a special moment of us because it became so real. One thing I am so surprised about is the wedding list. I have people(family) that still wont give me a straight answer whether they’re coming or not, then I have had other responses from friends saying they wont come but got a text saying see ya there. My sweetest dearest friends are flying in from Boston and I am so blessed and honored that they will be there. I have a girlfriend from Chicago also coming in and that is so flattering to know the effort some people have put in and I am humbled. I will literally be surprised the day of when to see who makes it and who doesn’t. The tough part is that Todd and I just was not able to invite everyone. Its very expensive and we had to choose who to invite. Those people who wont commit to coming are actually ruining an opportunity for me to invite others who would. I was very worried starting out about having the NO KIDS rule but almost everyone was very laidback and appreciated the date night without the kiddos. However, it has upset a few and I cant worry about it. I have been reading A LOT about wedding etiquette and have learned much. I would never send the article out to my friends but dang I cant lie and say I’m not tempted. There are times when I feel like a Bridezilla because I flipping included a stamped envelope and you cant check mark the response card and lick the envelope? I asked no kids for a reason. I cant afford them and there will be drinking and it’s a late night wedding. My nieces are in the wedding but my awesome sister –in-law Sarah’s parents (did you follow that) are coming and can take the little one home with them if it gets late and shes cranky and tired. Anyway those are just a few gripes but believe me when I say this- “ I am happy and OK”! I can only control my thoughts and actions and I am thrilled to be marrying the man of my dreams. The wedding will be awesome and fun and a night to remember no matter what. As far as the honeymoon goes, we are planning one for later in the year or next year. With Dad in the hospital as long as he was I was too afraid to leave town and make plans away from the hospital. SOOO, thanks to my points I accumulated from traveling, I booked us a last minute GETAWAY and not honeymoon. We will drive south back to Galveston for a few nice relaxing days on the beach. I need it –Todd needs it- it will be wonderful! I cant wait to share the pictures with you from the wedding and its just a week away! Have a great weekend y’all and I’ll see you back here on Tuesday. xoxox

I missed my Blog anniversary and its Tuesday Tunes

I completely missed my blog anniversary on August 5th. As y'all know i was a little busy a few weeks ago to say the least with my Dad in the hospital. This month is my 2nd year to be a blogger. I feel like i have learned so much and changed my views of some ideas i had of blogging. When i first started and i saw everyone's numbers on their sidebar of followers, i felt that i needed to have tons of followers. Now i can honestly tell you that i am content with when i blog and what i blog about and maintaining my handful of faithful readers. Blogging is not a contest and it never should be. It's an outlet to get yourself out there with your idea, feelings, life events and voice. I started this blog as my outlet to get my feelings and fear of my Dad's illness. Through that journey , i have met some amazing people here and even someone who's father also had a double lung transplant. For those moments, i am so grateful and happy. I never thought 2 years ago when i began the blog that i would be sharing my wedding and that i'm even getting married to another man than who i was dating back then. To my readers of this little ol blog- THANK YOU!! Now for my song today... Its by a country singer of the name Kip Moore. The song is Hey Pretty Girl and i love it!

15 days to go- Its really happening

 

 

Good morning! I am so happy today is Friday and I get to work from home today to keep my Mom company. She flew in from Montana yesterday and its SO great to see her! This is very hard to say outloud but its been 2 years since we've seen each other. Not from lack of trying though. Last year i booked a ticket and then she became very ill and didnt want any company. She was in and out of hospital and then days where she didnt get out of bed. Lupus F**king sucks and it brings on added stress and complications to her litle body. Then once it becomes winter, its nearly impossible to get to her house and she's hours from a real airport. Mom lives in such a remote town and the highways get closed off due to snow and ice. SOOOO, a year went by without a visit.
  Todd and Mom have never really met face to face before. She has spoken to him several times on the phone and has known him for years because of our long friendship before we started dating. Todd was so cute yesterday because he was a little nervous anticipating meeting her. I went to the office for work because i had some online training classes that i had to teach and when i called the airlines to check on Mom's flight- it said that it was scheduled to land at 11:27 and i looked down at clock and it was 11:07. Holy cow- Mom's arriving in 20 minutes!! I jumped in my truck and drove very fast to airport which is fortunately not too far from DFW. After i parked and got to baggage claim, i wasnt there 5 minutes when Mom came out. She was starving and craving Mexican food so we met Todd at a nearby restuarant for lunch. I happened to have my phone(camera) in hand when they were getting out of the cars and met for the very first time. Todd bought Mom some beautiful flowers for her and she was ecstatic! Smooth move honey! After lunch , i had to drive back to office for one more presentation i had to do so Mom went home with Todd and that gave them some time to talk and hang out.
 We're taking Mom to East Texas tomorrow to Nanny's house where she will stay all next week so my aunt and uncle can have real visit time in, then she will be with me the week of the wedding. I am feeling more confident every day that my wedding is starting to take shape and will actually turn out to be nice and fun. I am SO grateful for my girlfriends Julie and Holly who have helped me out tremendously! In meantime, i've visited Dad at the house and he's so happy to be sleeping in his own bed and in his big comfy chair with wall size TV. I will spend a night with them next week so Deb can leave the house and have a break. Taking care of her job, the ranch, and Dad is a lot of work and i'm happy to help when i can. I found an old picture of Dad on his Harley that we bought from him and me on my sportster. Good times and memories!

Tuesday Tunes

Good morning!!! I am having a MUCH better week than last week! Dad came home from the hospital yesterday and I am beyond thrilled. Doesn't mean that we still don't have a long road ahead of us but my goodness it felt great driving their house and not the hospital. Not paying for parking was a nice change too.
My song today is Howdja. It is a silly and (inappropriate) ,catchy little tune that Daddy wrote several years ago. Its a popular song at his parties and gatherings with friends. Please don't be offended. It makes me smile to hear him play the guitar and have some spunk! A friend of ours put this on YOUTUBE about 4 years ago before his health starting declining.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can't help how I feel...

I should start with warning, this post may be a bit down and whiny. Maybe it's because I haven't slept well in days/weeks.  I basically take a light nap when I go to bed at night . I toss and turn , have bad dreams , or my eyes are wide open and I just can't go to sleep.  Yes I've tried some of the sleeping aids like the new zzzz medicine by NyQuil buy I feel so groggy in the mornings . 

I get asked daily how I'm doing? What with the wedding in 3 weeks and Dad still in the hospital . My answer right now is the truth. I've been in habit of saying "oh I'm fine". But I'm not fine! I'm exhausted , I'm scared, I'm nervous , I'm aggravated , I'm anxious, I feel like I'm constantly just holding my breath now and I can't relax. 

I feel that if I let my guard down again , the rug will be pulled out from underneath and I will be done. 

I consider myself a true Believer but where is my Faith and Trust? Why can't I take that deep breath and exhale? I am mad at myself that I live in fear now. Why can't I accept that everything will just fall into place and be fine as I've been told a hundred times lately? 

I want complete healing for my Dad, grandma , and mom.  My sweetest Grandma was also in the hospital over the weekend due to a wound in her leg and complications from her diabetes. 

I want the wedding to be here now and to have it behind me. I don't doubt that the night of wedding will be great, but the stress of putting it together as well as the financial burden it's been on Todd and I have become too much . I've had very little JOY with wedding plans because of the fear of Dads health . Will he be able to make it ? Will he get a transplant ? Will he ever leave the hospital? Will he make it to the wedding and will he walk me down the aisle?  As the saying goes - it is what it is . I need to put my big girl panties on and accept that this is the hand I was dealt and it has a purpose somehow. 

I have some wonderful family and friends that have been very supportive and I don't take a second of that for granted. I have many things in life to be grateful for and I'm not completely in full depression. I'm just having one very long continuous rough moment right now. 

Tuesday Tunes

At Last is a wonderful song and one of the top 5 songs played at weddings. It will also be played at my reception.
I had a horrible scary weekend and my heart is still beating from fear. My Dad had a HUGE blood clot Friday and he passed out (had to be brought back by chest compressions) and went back on a ventilator. The good news is that he's healing and now off the ventilator. I'll go more in detail later but i'm swamped at work and my work laptop does not like Blogger and i am having trouble trying to get this post out.

Go see my awesome Guest Book for wedding that Julie made me

My sweetest friend Julie wrote a post about my most awesome wedding gift that she made for us. She is so crafty and did an amazing job on it. I just love her to death and she's been such a huge part in calming me down and helping me get this wedding back in motion. Go here and read all about it and see for yourself how amazing it is! Have a great weekend y'all. xoxo

Wedding stuff cuz it's like in 30 days!! Gulp!

I

This is my first post I'm attempting to do from my iPhone because my work laptop does not like Blogger at all. 

Now that Dad has the scary parts behind him, I feel that I can proceed with full force in my wedding plans. My wedding shower was last weekend and I don't have many pics but these few I'm sharing today. Todd and I also had our appointment this week to pick out our wines and the seating arrangements. It's all starting to come together and I'm so thankful for my dear friends that have volunteered to graciously help me. 

My shower was sweet and I had 13 gals show up. I have to focus on the lovely ones that came and try not to get my feelings hurt from the ones that didnt come. I just have to say that communication is so weak in our society today. I didn't have a single person show up from my moms side of the family that I actually grew up closest to. I understand that we all are busy but not one call to say they wouldn't be coming. Oh well! I'm becoming closer to my family on dads side and its been nice. 

I picked up my brooch bouquet this week and its exquisite! I seriously can't say enough awesome things about the way it turned out and the sweet gal that put or together. Another post about that after the wedding for sure. I want to wait until wedding is over before I share my bouquet  and that's hard to do. 

I'm posting my countdown to wedding on my social media . It makes me smile!