I want to talk about transplants today. As in donating an organ and saving a life. Specifically
My fathers life. This is our story. Pull up a chair, this may be my longest post I’ve
ever written. Almost 2 years ago in July,
my dad underwent a double lung transplant.
When he was first diagnosed with his rare lung disease, I was devastated
and that’s exactly when I began this
blog. I needed an outlet. I felt so lost
because I was so scared I was going to lose him. The disease progressed quickly and he was
soon in a wheelchair , on high amounts of oxygen. Dad traveled to Santa Domingo 3 times to try
the stem cell option. Stem cell
treatment is not 100% legal in the US and is only used right now in the US if
you have cancer. It seemed to be working
and we were so optimistic. Then we waited
for this specific process that took a long time to get just right and when that
day finally came and Dad traveled out of the country to get the treatment, it didn’t
work.
That’s when I saw the light go out of Dad.
Dad had been dealing with a team of doctors at one hospital
in Dallas that will remain nameless. They
told Dad that he did not fit the criteria to be a candidate for the
donor list. These are tough words to
hear when you’re in early 60’s. So
basically Dad gave up knowing that there was nothing else that could be done
for him. I struggled and became very angry. I questioned my faith. I cried
until I thought I surely would go dry of tears. Daddy was declining by the week and all he
could was get up and sit in his lazy-boy and either watch TV or play games on
his ipad. He started slowly getting rid
of his prize possessions. Dad played
guitar and had an amazing collection. I
noticed those were disappearing. Then he
mentioned he was selling the Harley. That’s
when I woke up like someone slapped me and realized what he was doing. I was so
torn- I thought he was giving up. What else
could he do though? Without any hesitation I told Daddy that I would be buying
the Harley!! God is good! You see, just
a few months before Dad mentioned his bike, Todd sold his. We were starting to combine households and
prepare for the wedding , and financially it was a good decision because of his
payments. It didn’t take long for Todd
to get antsy and regret his decision and it was funny because I kept telling
him to “hold on, there will be a bike for us soon”. Of course I never would have imagined it
would be my own Dad’s!
My cousin Dusty happened to do some volunteer work at
another hospital in Dallas called UT Southwestern. It’s a teaching hospital and
that makes all the difference in the world! Literally. So its kind of crazy how it all started but
Dusty was in line in cafeteria and struck up conversation about Daddy. She
figured what could she lose by asking?
That person said to go talk to another person and that then of course
that person put her in touch with a lady who listened and called Dad the very
next day. I cant make this up. She called on a Wednesday and by Friday he
had appointment to go meet her and other staff members. He “failed” their test so to speak but not
without another chance. They gave him a list of things for him to work on such
as walking more around the house, using the treadmill, etc. He needed to build up more stamina than he
had. Remember , Dad had given up by now
and so he was not trying to improve his stamina and I don’t think he thought he
could. Two weeks later, he went back
and passed their criteria. He officially became eligible to go on the donor transplant
list. Now the wait began. It was a joyous celebration and I saw a
light flicker in Daddy’s eyes again.
Hope . That’s all he needed was hope again.
So we waited and waited.
A few months later after being on the list we got “THE CALL”. Dad and my stepmom Deb rushed to the hospital
and all the many preparations began. The
process takes hours to prepare before the actual surgery begins. We also had to wait on the lungs that were
being Careflighted in. So they took
Daddy back and intubated him and he was prepped to go. When it was all said and done- the donor
lungs were a NO-GO. They found the slightest
pocket of fluid on one of them and the Dr’s voted no transplant. Now, in meantime Dad was unconscious and to
make a very very longer story short, Dad died on the table. The surgeons of course saved him within
seconds but it now opened a whole new can of worms .
The false transplant process really did a number on Daddy.
He was so weak and he had to stay on tubes for days. The doctors needed to basically start over on the game plan and
the next set of actions for a transplant.
It was the hardest thing to tell Dad when he woke up the next day – that
he DID NOT have new lungs. He was in ICU , hooked up to all these
machines and to know that he had to continue struggling with his bad
lungs. Oh my , this is so hard to type
out right now. I’m crying again. It was
determined that when and if the next match comes up, it had to be perfect and
no more false starts again. He wouldn’t make
it.
The good news is that through all that, the factors that had
to be matched up got changed. Example:
the first donor had to be of a certain height and the lungs a certain
size- that changed to different criteria. Nothing can be easy with Daddy ( or me for
that matter). Daddy had a heart surgery
5 years ago. The unnamed hospital I mentioned above totally botched some
parts. They didn’t patch him up
correctly and caused some internal scar tissue.
Its little things like that that can cause a lot of heart ache down the
road for the surgeons. The surgeons actually
had to come up a whole new plan and approach that had never been done before. Being with this teaching hospital was so
amazing. The doctors are old and seasoned and wise and young and new and
innovative!
Fast forward another few months, Daddy never left the
hospital after the “false alarm transplant” and was getting more weak by the
week. Deb and I were taking shifts – she
the daytime and evenings were mine. Todd
would come up often too and we took turns staying the night with him. It all became very scary because Daddy got
very anxious and didn’t want to be alone. He used to never be like that but we didn’t
want him stressing out because it was too exhausting for him. By now, he couldn’t even eat solid foods
because it took too much energy to chew.
Can you imagine that? I had been
so lucky with my job because I wasn’t traveling much at all which allowed me to
be at hospital every night. BUT, my luck
ran out. I was being sent to train a large class in Jacksonville, Florida soon
for the whole week. It was the week before
I had to travel and I kept telling Daddy that we better get “the call” that day
or the day after or one day that week. I said it would be my luck that the one
week I’m gone, he would get the transplant.
It was one night that I cant get out of my head. Todd joined me at the
hospital that evening and Daddy told both of us that if there wasn’t a match soon,
he wanted to go home. He was tired of
living at the hospital for the last several weeks.
I understood but I couldn’t accept it. I stepped out of the
room and broke down. Todd told me to not
be angry and that Daddy lived a good life and that he was tired of
fighting. At this time, Daddy’s quality
of life was just above zero. He was on
the highest level of oxygen and he could still barely talk, breathe or move.
It was a Friday night in July and I was going home first to
have dinner with Todd before I headed to the hospital. I never did that but it seemed like it was
ages since I had really seen much of Todd since I was at hospital every night. What I haven’t mentioned yet was that we were
also supposed to be planning our wedding and had set a date for August 31 of
that year. We bumped the date up so that
I could have both parents at my wedding.
Originally we wanted to wait another year for financial reasons. Todd understood the urgency and so he didn’t hesitate
when I asked if we could marry sooner.
It was looking as if that date would still be too late. So back to the Friday night… I got home and my
phone rang and it was Deb. She called me
every day on her way home to give me update on Dad’s day and I called her every
night on way home with updates on his evening, nurses, etc. I was
in the other room from my phone and Todd said your phone is ringing. I said oh
its just Deb calling me with the lowdown of Dad’s day. Hahaha! I called Deb back within minutes and it was
the best call ever. TONIGHTS THE NIGHT! WE
ARE GETTING NEW LUNGS!!!
The surgery wasn't going to happen until much later that night. Deb was going home to grab a few things and Todd and I still went to dinner. We all met up at the hospital around 8pm and they took him back around 9. I was able to kiss him and tell him that i'd see him in the morning with new lungs. My Aunt Brenda who is dad's oldest sister came too and we were in a private waiting room.
The surgery took almost 7 hours and it started a little before midnight. A horrible thing was that there was another family in the waiting room with us and their person didn't make it. It was gut wrenching and it added to the stress and emotions we were going through. We played cards and talked and cried and prayed and they all tried to nap but I couldn't. The nurses would call every hour or so to give us an update and then they said the surgeon would come out when it was over.
Around 6:30 am the surgeon came out to talk to us. The good news is that Daddy had new lungs. The bad news is he was bleeding to death and the surgeons couldn't stop it. They said they did everything they could do and that it was up to him and God to pull through. I was so upset. My stepmom Deb was a rock! She calmly said then we got this because GOD didn't bring us this far not to make it now. Sure enough 24 hours later, they were closing his chest up and taking out the tubes. I was able to visit him Saturday and Sunday and then I had to go out of town for work. The hardest part was behind us and I was OK to leave for 5 days. Then the best part is that 6 weeks later- a very thin, fragile Daddy with a mask and his walker- walked me down the aisle and gave me away at my wedding.
There was so much more that happened during his recovery like a blood clot that went to his heart and he died again on the floor which they promptly resuscitated him again. Great crazy stuff like that but I will save that for another post. Ordinarily, I would break up a post like this 3 different days but it also felt good to get it all out one long post. Thanks for those who hung in to the end.
I am so blessed to have Dad not too far away who is alive and well!!
Please consider being an organ donor. It just takes a second at the DMV to check the option. Transplants are life changing and saved my Dad. Oh and in the south, we always say Daddy no matter how old we are!!
