A few bumps

Hey there Blogger peeps!  I didn't realize its been 13 days since my last post until today.  So January has been a sad one for me but i'm hanging in there. I had 2 funerals back to back on December 28 and January 4th, and yesterday was the 4th anniversary of my Dad's passing. Three sad weekends in a row but January isn't over yet. I still have time to have a happy day!  Yesterday I sat on the couch and had a full on Pity party for myself. I ate spaghetti and garlic bread and watched You on Netflix.
We lost an amazing young man from my church (Chad) who was an assistant pastor for us. He died 2 weeks before his 40th birthday from cancer.  He left behind a wife and 3 kids. Chad was a vibrant beautiful soul and it sucks!   His was the first funeral.  My dear friend Shari lost her mom that same week. She was in her 80's and was so sweet. I loved her dearly. She also passed from Stage 4 cancer but hers was very sudden. She didn't know she had cancer until 2 weeks before she passed.  Chad on the other hand battled cancer for 3 years with tons of surgeries, radiation and chemo.
I was dreading this past weekend with Dad's anniversary so I  drove to the beach 4.5 hours away for a few days.  I had not left Dallas and really went anywhere since June when my life imploded around me. I knew that seeing the waves would be comforting and  it was.  I drove to Galveston on Friday and came back early Sunday morning.  I did a lot of crying but it was healing.  I may have to do that more often.  There are beaches in Texas that I haven't been to in ages or ever at all and I should make it a goal to visit some.
All in all, the new year has been a doozy but i'm hanging on.  I still cry everyday yall and I am shocked that the well hasn't dried up yet.  I guess its still part of the process.  I made some dear friends from my DivorceCare class and we try to get together often. I'm so happy I met them.  To have a group going thru same emotions is great. Kinda the whole Misery loves company idea but we build each other up.
My pool is still a scary green swamp and its stressing me out. I have someone coming this Friday to do a pool leak check. Fingers crossed its not serious.  My gut feeling though has been really been nawing at me.
Hope all of you have been having a good year so far.  Talk to you soon.

2019 into 2020

I am waiting patiently for this day to be over because it marks the hardest year of my life to be behind me!  I wish all of you the Happiest New Year !!! Sending so much love and friendship your way . Cheers to 2020 being an awesome year for all of us.  I do hope to blog more to stay in touch with all of you amazing people.  I cant thank you enough for your encouraging words and support you've shown me . It quite literally saved my life at times when I couldn't breathe and barely lift my head.  I am slowly rising from the ashes and have support from friends and family to thank for that!!

Tis the Season

Hey everyone! First I want to let you guys know that for whatever reason, I cant comment in reply to yours. I've tried and tried and I don't understand what changed but it wont let me. I am so sorry because I genuinely read all your comments and appreciate them more than you know. I'll get it figured out!!
I've been really busy lately which is nice. I had 2 cookie exchange parties back to back Sunday's.  I'm definitely going to have to wear stretchy pants after the holidays.  Today was our work department potluck which is always fun. We always do white elephant game and I ended up with a Beanless Bag chair.  So random and not sure what to do with it. LOL

Its crazy that Christmas is next week. I definitely want it to go by quickly.  I'm ready for 2019 to be over!
I am off work after today until next Thursday so I wont be near my laptop.
I dont have any plans except going to mass with my stepmom on Christmas Eve.

Merry Christmas everyone!! I genuinely wish you all the best during this holiday and I am so grateful for your support you've given me these last few months.

Thanksgiving recap

Hello there. Yep its been a couple weeks since I posted last. I did have good intentions.  The holidays are seeming to be pretty rough so I’m just dealing with  a lot.  Thanksgiving was hard. I spent a few hours with family and then went home because I wasn’t good company. I did end up going to Walmart later that evening with a friend. We went after the huge rush and it was still a mad house. I will admit they had some great deals. I saw they had a small Tv for only 100$ on their flyer and of course those sold out fast. That would have been a good buy but I take it as a sign that I didn’t need one anyway. HAHA!   I did end up buying a new Hoover vacuum cleaner that has attachments for corners, etc.  I currently don’t have anything like that so I was happy with my purchase.  I also bought a Otter protective phone case. It was on sale for 20$ which normally sells for 40 $ or higher. I do drop my phone a lot and it already has quite a few cracks on the screen so any help I can get!

Did anyone else get Black Friday specials?  I bought a flash drive to get pictures off my phone on Cyber Monday but I didn’t get anything else. I don’t need anything else and I’m also trying to downsize stuff out of my house and garage.   I have someone coming over tonight to look thru my 10 Christmas tubs I’m selling.  I have TOO much stuff! I had a lot for inventory to sell in my winter junk show but I didn’t participate this year so its all got to go.   Cross your fingers they buy a Lot.  

Here is a random statement- I find a new drink I really like at Starbucks.  LOL!  A vanilla chai tea latte.   Its so good and its nice to have something different now.  Not that I go very often at all now. Cant afford it.  I used to go at least once a week during work days and every Sunday before church.  Now its maybe once a month.  That’s Ok- I drink a lot more coffee at home with my flavored creamers so all is good.  I also have been drinking my coffee only with creamer and no more splenda’s or sugars.   That’s a big change for me believe it or not.  Maybe in another 10 years I’ll graduate to just black coffee  but I’m not there yet.  

Another random thought, my friend bought me a dog DNA test for Lila for Christmas and I’m so excited!! I rescued her 5 years ago from death row at the pound and she was labeled as a chihuahua mix. I want to know the mix side.   

I hope you’re all having a good week.  I’ll be back soon!

Out and About

I've been leaving my house more. I went to the Blue October concert last month which was my first time to be out on a Saturday night since June.   Two weeks ago  I went to the movies with my cousin and saw Dr. Sleep  the sequel to The Shining. Last Sunday I went with roommate and saw The Joker .  Have you see The Joker? I really liked it. Its very dark and intense but so well done!  I normally only saw one or 2 movies at a theater a year. I think I just broke my record going 2 weeks in a row.
Last Saturday I went out with 2 other couples from church and went to see an AC/DC band called Back in Black.  They are so good and I had so much fun. It was my second time to really be out on a Saturday night at a bar venue with friends and I even had 2 margaritas.  Music is always a good way to get me out of house!!  I feel like I had 2 hours of the "old me" again smiling and dancing with my friends.  Then Sunday- BAM back to being sad and emotional.  SIGH.
I am truly dreading the holidays and will look forward to 2019 being over.  I've still had so many things go wrong lately around the house, my dogs, etc.  It just never ends.  I do still plan on making my hashbrown casserole that I do every year for Thanksgiving and I'm joining my cousin and her family.  I bought a new Christmas tree today.  It's 7 ft tall, prelit and its white.  I wanted to do something very different than I've done before.  A white tree is a good start. LOL.  I may put it up this weekend.
Is anyone traveling this next week and how far?  If I don't post next week, have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Zach Williams is one of my favorite Christian singers. I've posted him before with Fear is a Liar.
Here is a song that he did with Dolly Parton.  I love it!
There was Jesus:

Halloween blues and broken heart

Its been a month already since my last post.  I'm sorry.  My life is hectic and going in too many directions. Unfortunately, blogging is the first to go to the side.  My stye is better. I opted out of not doing the mini-surgery and having it cut out.  The Dr said it will eventually go away and it is.

My air conditioner is still acting up. Its been 2 months at least that I've been dealing with that. I had to have it completely rewired from the outside AC unit up thru my attic.  They're coming back today to fine tune it.  I'll be glad to have it fixed once and for all. 

Halloween came and went.  It is still my favorite holiday but this year was not celebrated as I normally do.  I did put up a few decorations but very little and I put up one of my Halloween trees because it was easy to get to and it stays up thru Christmas.  I did come across a 6ft wolf skeleton that I bought for 75% off which was ended up only 12$.  My friends asked me about it the next day after they saw my post on Facebook and I said my heart may be broken but i'm not dead!!  I am not going to pass up a great Halloween deal like that even though this year it wont get used. LOL .

I only got 3 groups of kids of 10 total for trick or treaters. Its my 4th Halloween at my house and its never good. Sadly, I think next year I'm not going to bother to leave the light on and hand out candy.  My neighborhood doesn't get enough kids coming thru to make it worth it. 

Ordinarily I would be prepping for my junk show which is this weekend. I just didn't have enough time to prepare as a vendor. I'll go by and show my support to my friends but it will be so strange not to be a vendor. I do want to try for the April show though.  So that's it.  Of course a lot more but I cant really talk about.  I've been very blue and my anxiety has come back.   Life is just so hard.

I'm going to try to come back more regularly.  Its not that I don't want to.  I miss my blogging friends so much!

Going thru motions

So remember that stye i mentioned, yeah so i cant make this crap up, It turned into full on cellulitis and my left side of my face swelled. Had to go to Dr and get on 2 antibiotics- one oral and one a cream directly on my eye.  A week later, i saw a specialist who then prescribed me drops that i do 4 times a day.  Its embedded in my lower left eye and i have to get it sliced out next Tuesday.  Its a joy!  Last week my AC went out 2 Sundays ago to be exact and the soonest i could have repair was last Friday.  So for 6 days it was 85 to 89 degrees inside my home.  My pool pump also broke.  There was no cooling down in the pool because in the heat with no pump it turns into full on black lagoon. To add was a tight critical deadline at work and my roommate moving in on Saturday.
I  can only laugh. I told a friend that at any time i expected the plague of locusts to come and i'm ready.  When i feel i like i'm doing somewhat ok, i have a setback or 4.  My emotions are unsteady again and that's hard.  I still have cried every single day since June 16.  I am amazed my body can still produce tears but there is endless supply.
Its October now and i am debating on decorating like i usually do. I have a few things out but i just don't know.... For those who know me understand that i look forward to October and Halloween all year long and i genuinely get depressed on November 1.  I canceled my annual HOLLIWeen party. That was hard to do but i just get do it with all i have going on.  Maybe next year.
That's all for now.  Please send prayers and juju and light and whatever is good my way.