Hi there! I'm just a woman that looks at life as an adventure. I'm a Texas girl trying to find joy in every day. I'm obsessed with Halloween , I love to go junking, I like to drink wine, and I'm a Harley girl! Thank you for letting me share my stories, opinions, etc.
Hey yall, so i didn't post last week at all. I had a trillion things to get done in preparation of my estate sale all while being injured. So August 31 ( Labor Day weekend) was my wedding anniversary. I woke up crying and knew it would be a hard day. Two of my good friends came to spend the day with me. Our plans were to go eat lunch, buy a new TV and then tackle my house to get more organized and stuff put out for sale. We managed to eat lunch and went to Walmart and i bought a new TV ( my old one kept humming real loud and i couldn't watch anything). We got back to the house to drop off TV and my friend Debbie was working on my pool pump and changing the timer. I was going to see her do it and as i walking stepping down the 2 concrete steps, my left foot twisted while my right foot was in air stepping down. My legs went right out from underneath and i slammed into my steps. My ankle instantly swelled to size of grapefruit and i busted my tailbone . The only blessing to this was that my other friend that was there used to be head nurse for major hospital in Dallas in the ER for over 20 years and she's now on an elite Trauma team at a different hospital. She knew what to do immediately. My ankle is not broke but my muscle/tendon is strained. My tailbone could be cracked but i opted out of xray because there's nothing they can do it for anyway and so why spend money i don't have. Needless to say i lost all that day including the following day to ice my ankle and sit in recliner. I went to lunch with friend on Monday and i'm using crutches. I am SUPPOSED to stay off my ankle but this happened 5 days before my estate sale. SUCKS so bad!! My tailbone hurts the worst. It hasn't improved in the slightest and i had to buy a special pillow off Amazon to use while i work. I bought a cheap inflatable donut from Walmart and it had a leak in it so its trash.
I just tried attaching picture and i got error that it cant copy over so not sure why. :(
My sale was for last Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I sold a lot but i have so much stuff that i still needed to sell much more. On Saturday it was 103 and just too hot for people to want to shop and dig. I totally get it but i may need to do another sale in the early spring. All in all though, i'm happy with what i made. Everything i sold is just that less i have to box up these next few weeks. Since my whole life fiasco started, I've had big projects to focus on. I first needed to clear out my storage with all my inventory and get it to my house. That took a few weeks to get done. Then was to focus on setting up and going thru all tubs to get ready for the sale. Now that sale is over, i have to focus on getting all the shelves and inventory out of 2 guest bedrooms for my roommate to move in end of month. Its a lot to do but i like keeping super busy with end results.
So that's it for now. My house is chaos and i'm slowly putting things back to where they belong and packing up the guest rooms.
You guys, this post is going to be depressing. Just letting you know now. I had a horrifying weekend and i cant seem to shake it. My mind plays the worst scene over and over and over and i cant turn my head off. I want to be able to delete scenes from my memory like we can delete bad photos from our phone. My anxiety and stress are off the charts and Todd is calling our insurance today to looking into someone to talk to. What happened to me? I used to be so incredibly strong. I could handle death and sadness and hard parts of life like a strong ship. Now i feel like i am weak. I cry at the drop of a hat and i have very little patience around the house and have been short with Todd.
I drove out to Quitman to spend the day with my 88 year old grandma "Nanny". I try to go see her once a month no matter what. Its a 2 hour drive door to door one way. It was a beautiful day and we started off going to our favorite tea room and having breakfast. Our goal was to find her a new rug for her living room. Nanny loves going to garage sales and we stopped at 3 of them and bought soem fun stuff for both of us. We stopped to get something to drink and we were heading to a store that she likes to go to. It was changing names and having a new Grand Opening and she had lots of coupons. We love going there together. The shopping strip was in an L shape and on the opposite corner of the big store (Bealls now Stage), there was a boutique that we had never been into. We went in and i bought a new t-shirt. As we walked out, i said i would run to the car and throw my shirt in and meet her at the other store. I knew that i would be quick and would actually go meet her and walk with her. There was a lady in the parking lot and as i turned around i saw her gasp and point and i turned i saw Nanny laying flat on her stomach on the concrete sidewalk. Its this next moment that plays in slow motion over and over. I took off running and yelled to a lady to please call 911. She had just done that as i was yelling. Nanny is on blood thinners. This means there is enormous amounts of blood that you cant imagine. Her nose was bleeding very fast and heavy and her mouth and her cheek was bleeding. It was pooling in her mouth and under her in puddles. I couldnt tell if the injuries were internal. There was so much blood. We told her to lay still and let the paramedics move her. She was not unconscious but she was in shock. She could talk to me but barely.
A young man kept staring and i yelled at him to get me a towel. Its funny now because he said Yes thats what i was going to do but he was motionless. I was shaking all over. My mouth was shaking and my hands were shaking. I was doing the silent cry where my body was just shaking violently but not a sound out of my mouth. Another lady had come to sit on ground with us. She saw me crying and she put up her hand and said firmly- calm down ! Jesus has this! (You gotta love small town Texas). What seemed like forever the ambulance finally showed up. The call to 911 was painful. They asked what seems like 100 questions. I know they were doing their job but its like they werent listening to us. They told us to pinch the bridge of her nose to keep it from bleeding. Thats exactly where her glasses tore a chunk off her nose. I shook my head and mouthed to the lady holding the phone- I'm not going to do that! The lady agreed and we told 911 yep we're doing it. The paramedics turned her over and helped her sit up. Then they stood her up and belted her onto the stretcher bed. It was when they belted her that i lost it. The rags and towels laid on the sidewalk soaked in blood. The 2 ladies grabbed me and they started praying. I heard some of the prayers but i didnt take my eyes off Nanny for one second. The ladies were angels and i am so appreciative of them staying with me and praying with me and using their phone to 911. As the ambulance closed the doors, the one lady said she will continue praying for us and she said i'm so glad she's going to be OK and her voice broke. She was strong for me but i think she was also holding her breath too and was so worried. I dont know if i thanked her. I hope i did. I followed the ambulance to the hospital and called Todd. I was hysterical. I just had to talk to someone. He offered to come and get me because he was worried about me driving. I was OK running on adrenaline.
The hospital took Xrays and a Cat scan and they saw nothing broken. She had bit through her lip in 2 places, tore her nose and her cheek. Her palms were bruised and she had a tear on top of her hand. They bandaged her up and released her a few hours later. I took her home but she said her arms and hands hurt very very bad. They hurt to the touch when i reached to hold her hand. I got her home and called my uncle who lived nearby. He is Nanny's guardian and protector. She moved out there to be closer to him ( he's the favorite-lol). She could tell that her dentures on the top were split in half. Sure enough they came out in 2 places. He bought some super glue and had them fixed within an hour. Enough to hold her until she could get new ones. I finally left once Uncle James was there. She wouldnt let me spend the night and she wouldnt go home with him. She just wanted to sit in her recliner and rest.
I had nightmares all night and yesterday morning at 6:30 i replayed the image of Nanny laying face down in blood and i sobbed uncontrollably. I skipped church because my eyes were swollen almost shut and i was still crying. Then my mom called to tell me that Nanny was in so much pain she called Uncle James and said i need to go back to the hospital. Yall- she NEVER willingly wants to go to hospital. Never. That tells me how uncomfortable she was and in pain. Uncle James took her to a different hospital into Tyler and they saw some bone chips around her neck. She has a pinched nerve that is causing the pain in arms and hands. She's home again from hospital. I should have never left her! I should have said stay right here while i run my shirt to car. She has a bad foot that she has to be very careful of steps, etc. The sidewalk just went at a sudden slope and she went down. You could see how it sloped because her foot was still there on the ground. She was finally feeling so good because she had been sick for a while. I know i'm going on and on but Nanny is my love. She is our rock and matriarch of the family. She raised me off and on my whole life. I literally mean this when i say i wouldnt be where i am today without her. I am equally close to her as i am my mom. They both raised me. Nanny is precious and full of love. She is now in so much pain and her face is bloody and swollen and it kills me.
To top things off , i have not mentioned on my blog lately because it was too hard. My dad is having problems with his new lungs and has been in and out of the hospital several times. I cant talk about it right now. I just cant. Our hot water heater pipe busted under the house and i'm currently working from home today so i can pack and move what i can out of my office/guest bedroom. They are going to jackhammer and go through the concrete and hard floors tomorrow. That alone is giving me great anxiety. The floors are over 150 degrees in that room and guest bathroom. It burns our feet if we go barefooted.
So if you are even still here reading this whole post- i am sorry i am the biggest Eeyore Debbie Downer you can imagine. If you know me than you know thats not me. I want to be happy. I want to smile and love life and enjoy every precious moment God gave me. I am blessed but super depressed.
My friends mean the world to me and have been so supportive. I went to the Chris Cornell concert the weekend of Halloween. It was amazing!! He normally doesnt have anyone open up for him on his solo tour but he hand picked this young lady. She was incredible. She just came out on stage and belted out her heart acoustically. I bought the CD and its on replay over and over. Her real name is Christina or something like that but she sings under name Hemming. I wanted to share this song with yall. I love it and its what is getting me through my hours and days.
Some of my friends have seen me cry Some of my friends can tell when I am lying And some of my friends don't know how hard I have tried To make my amends to make up for lost time Some of my friends make fun of my jokes And some of my friends will spend their whole lives broke Some of my friends live on the edge of their seats As soon as they get somewhere they can't wait to leave Some of my friends taught me how to be strong And some of my friends don't know how to be alone Some of my friends I may have just met But they could turn into people that I never forget Some of my friends yeah they drink too much And some of my friends don't know who they want to love Some of my friends keep on breaking my heart Because some of my friends don't see how beautiful they are Yeah and some of my friends are just wasting away And some of my friends are gonna be famous one day Some of my friends they’re gonna leave this town Theyr’e gonna keep on running and never settle down Some of my friends will never know who I am Some of my friends were given more than one chance Some of my friends put me up on a throne The second I fall they run and leave me alone Some of my friends will never know what home is Some of my friends are gonna be married with kids And some of my friends I'll never see again But thank God they were there when I needed them.
