Fat girl cruising

Hey yall, how’s your week going so far? Its been good so far. Todd is out of town and I’ve been just laying low binge watching Grace andFrankie on Netflix.   Have you guys seen this series? Its so funny! I’m only on season 3 and there are 5 seasons so I’m midway through.  Its about 2 ladies who were married to their husbands for 40 years then turns out the husbands are in love with each other.  Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin really do a great job in their characters. I’m not sure how many seasons will continue but I hope to get caught up by end of week.

This Sunday, I leave to go on my cruise with my family.  I’m so bummed that Todd cant go but I’m also looking forward to spending time with my stepmom Deb. My grandmother ( Dads mom) Mimi bought EVERYONE this cruise. She has always loved going on cruises and she and Deb had not been on a cruise since Daddy passed 3 years ago. Mimi is 91 years old and honestly she’s not in the best health condition. This is a big deal for all of us to be together. A few of my cousins cant make it but most everyone is going including all their kids.   We set sail from Galveston, TX and our ports will be Roatan, Honduras, Playa Costa Maya and Cozumel, Mexico.  We’re going on Royal Caribbean which is fun for me because I’ve only been on Carnival cruises.

Truth is I don’t have much “vacation money” set aside because of my Amsterdam trip. This cruise was sprung on the family in March with the dates set for June . I’m totally Ok with just getting off the boat and hanging out on beach for free. I really just want to sit on the sand and hear the ocean.   I do have to be very brutally honest at the risk of sounding like a spoiled brat.  I’ve never really been very close to this side of the family.  In fact, it wasn’t until my Dad had his double lung transplant 5 years ago, that Mimi started being kind to me.  My family is very judgey and into appearance 100%.  One of my aunts is also in the same mean girls club .  Both are very Unforgiving of me being Plus-sized.  My aunt actual told me one time when I was with my ex boyfriend that the reason why we were having some relationship issues is because “he’s probably disappointed in my weight gain and men don’t like that”.  Mimi told me a few years ago that “she just couldn’t get used to me being so heavy”.   SOOOOO, while I should be over the moon excited to go on a free cruise, my anxiety level has been over the moon stressed.  I’m going to start tonight picking out my outfits to pack and making sure they’re as flattering as possible.  I cant cancel now. I didn’t buy the insurance and its non-refundable. I want to go. I want to create new happy memories with this side of the family. I am happy I was included because they’ve had family cruises in the past that I wasn’t invited to.   Its just , I am the ONLY fat family member on this side.  THE ONLY ONE. Not even a chubby kid is in the family.  I know all of you know someone who when they see you- they will literally look at you from top to bottom taking everything in on what you’re wearing and how it looks on you. Well I have a few of those going on this trip.  I love my grandma and my aunts. I want to show them that i have a loving and forgiving heart. I want to have a friendship with Mimi. 

I PRAY it goes well and that I didn’t waste an entire weeks’ vacation to be criticized. I am going with open mind and open heart. I want to come back suntanned and loving memories to share with yall.  One thing is I do make friends easy so I may just have to go find a fun crowd and hang out with them. Haha!  Its sad that I want to ask yall to send me luck and prayers while im on vacation. 

I wish the Blogger app didn’t sink because I could post while on ship but it went away.  I’ll post when I get back. It’s a 10 day cruise so I return home on the 16^th.

On another subject, one of my favorite bands Blue October is coming to Dallas in October and I bought tickets for that this week! YAY!!!!

Take care and have a great week- I miss yall already!

Got to keep on moving

Hey there blogger land, how’s everyone been? A week ago last Friday , I had my gallbladder removed. It was a quick surgery done laparoscopically and was home the same day.

After I woke up from recovery and Todd drove us home, I slept all day and all evening and then of course woke up at 2am and couldn’t go back to sleep.  I was so sore and swollen but it got better with every day.  I had a few setbacks and mostly it was all on my being a bad patient.  The worst part was getting into my bed and laying down. Our bed is really really high and it felt like doing stomach crunches when I had to lower myself to lay down.  A few friends told me that they slept in their recliner after they had the same procedure.  I didn’t think about that.   Then one day last week during all those crazy spring storms we had,  our chimney box flew off and slammed into our fence which then caused a portion of our back fence to fall down.  Craziness!  After Todd was able to push the fence back up and secure it as best as he could, I thought it would be a good idea to hang the planter back but of course its much taller than me. I have a small mosaic patio chair by the fence and I stood on it-which caused the chair to sink into the dirt and I fell down.  That stung and brought a few tears but I put an ice pack on my stomach and it was good after a few hours. 

Our mangled chimney box that the winds ripped off a roof and slammed into our fence

The great news is that after 6 weeks, my grandma Nanny was finally released from the hospital.  She had spent the last week in a rehab wing at the hospital and had some physical therapy, etc.   She got to go home to her apartment but she cant be alone. She’s still weak and not so sturdy.  Home health care will be coming 3 times a week and my uncle hired a friend/neighbor to watch over her since she’s closest.  I drove out there on Friday evening to spend her first night with her and she was soooo happy to be in her recliner again.  Its such a miracle! Many nights she actually wasn’t expected to make it and here she is walking and talking back at home again. Thank you for the prayers!

My mom went back home to Montana the Sunday morning after my surgery.  I really wished she could have stayed longer to be there with me at home but it was good to have her take care of me that Friday and Saturday. Nothing like Mom’s sweet gentle hand and voice waking me up to take my pain meds, make me drink something, eat something, etc.   I miss her already.  My best friend Kimi came and spent the afternoon with me and stayed the night on Monday since Todd had to travel out of town. I was still really sore and moving slow and it was good to have her around .  I had to return back to work on Tuesday and the rest of the week but fortunately, I got to work from home.   Last Thursday I also had my first jury duty commitment since we moved.  In fact , next week is our one year anniversary in our  home.  Wow- that went so fast!! Anyway, we were held a few hours and finally released by lunch because the persons who cases were called, didn’t show up and the bailiff said one guy was already in jail.  Yikes!  I did a check in from the courthouse and my friends pitched in with the some hilarious comments .  Here is the post.

Have any of you watched the series Breaking Bad? Todd and I recently got Netflix ( I know – welcome to the rest of the world), and we are “binge watching” this show. Holy Cow it’s intense! We are in Season 3 episode 12 now. There are 13 episodes of this season and 5 seasons total. When Todd travels, I don’t watch it. 

So basically that’s some of my last few weeks in a nutshell. 

A friend of mine was getting onto me on facebook because I was up and about the next day.  First thing that popped in my head was the song-  Nobody’s gonna break my stride- aint nothing going to slow me down- Oh No- I got to keep on moving!....