Downsizing

I am having an estate sale next weekend - September 5,6,and 7. I've got to downsize and sell as much as i can. I need the money and i need the space. I'm selling my side business with all my vintage and antique goods.  I have to get a roommate in October and i have a friend from church that is seriously considering it which will be great.
The sale is whats kept me focused and super busy these last 10 weeks. I had to get all my inventory and stuff out of storage and in my garage and back bedroom. Then I've had to go thru all my holiday tubs to select what i'm keeping and selling. I've got tables set up in my house and stuff all over. It does look like a bomb went off in my house.
I have sooooo much to do but it has been good to keep me busy and distracted.  I am anxious to get it over so i can start putting my house back together.  I discussed with my potential roommate what my plans were if many of my things sell and luckily i can use a lot of her furniture which makes her happy.
I sure wish all of you were local. I need to sell it all and i have SOOOOO much!
So , this Saturday will be our wedding anniversary and so i am super sad and anxious for the upcoming weekend. Please say a little prayer for me.  I've gone thru some tough dark moments and i don't want to spiral down in depression again.
This past weekend, a friend of mine flew in from Chicago to visit me and we rearranged my master bedroom. We moved the bed against another wall and i bought a new comforter set for the bed. Its a cranberry purple pink color and i love it! The changes made me feel good.
When he left, he took the iron and ironing board which was not big deal because he ironed much more than i did. However it is nice to have for the occasion you DO have something to iron. I bought an iron from Walmart but i stopped at salvation army yesterday to do a dropoff of some bags i'm donating and decided to go into the shop. I found a perfect green metal ironing board that was marked 7.99 and had blue tag on it. It happened to be the week of blue tags and things were half off.  So yay for me on my 4$ ironing board! Now i just need to buy a cover and pad for it.

I miss all of you and i'm sorry i haven't been visiting your blogs. I do hope and pray for me to see light and to get to place i can breathe and visit with you.  Please don't give up on me.

One minute at a time

Stronger- Sara Evans

Oceans

This song gives me strength.  My panic/anxiety has been thru the ceiling these past 2 weeks. I'm still here, barely standing.  I will survive.

Fear

It just keeps getting worse.   I'm struggling.  I am moving through a fog - so numb.  Please please pray for me.

Still taking it day by day - sometimes by the hour

I am the fire- Halestorm

Deconstruction

Blogger is public so i cant really air too much of my dirty laundry here. As much as i would like to pour my heart out here and tell you everything that is going on, i cant. Not yet. Not until dust has settled and lawyers aren't involved.
Just please pray for me - send good juju- whatever good you believe in- i desperately need it!!
On Friday, i took apart my brooch bouquet that i walked down the aisle with.  As some of you may remember from years ago, i asked my friends and family to give me a brooch so they could all be apart of the wedding and could walk down the aisle with me , especially for those out of state that were not able to make it.
Looking at it everyday was painful. The good news is that i have all the brooches in a jar and can wear them now and use them.  It was hard to take apart but too hard to leave intact.

When I'm gone

My newest favorite song right now. A new band out of LA called Dirty Honey.
Music is my therapy right now as it always has been.....