Halloween blues and broken heart

Its been a month already since my last post.  I'm sorry.  My life is hectic and going in too many directions. Unfortunately, blogging is the first to go to the side.  My stye is better. I opted out of not doing the mini-surgery and having it cut out.  The Dr said it will eventually go away and it is.

My air conditioner is still acting up. Its been 2 months at least that I've been dealing with that. I had to have it completely rewired from the outside AC unit up thru my attic.  They're coming back today to fine tune it.  I'll be glad to have it fixed once and for all. 

Halloween came and went.  It is still my favorite holiday but this year was not celebrated as I normally do.  I did put up a few decorations but very little and I put up one of my Halloween trees because it was easy to get to and it stays up thru Christmas.  I did come across a 6ft wolf skeleton that I bought for 75% off which was ended up only 12$.  My friends asked me about it the next day after they saw my post on Facebook and I said my heart may be broken but i'm not dead!!  I am not going to pass up a great Halloween deal like that even though this year it wont get used. LOL .

I only got 3 groups of kids of 10 total for trick or treaters. Its my 4th Halloween at my house and its never good. Sadly, I think next year I'm not going to bother to leave the light on and hand out candy.  My neighborhood doesn't get enough kids coming thru to make it worth it. 

Ordinarily I would be prepping for my junk show which is this weekend. I just didn't have enough time to prepare as a vendor. I'll go by and show my support to my friends but it will be so strange not to be a vendor. I do want to try for the April show though.  So that's it.  Of course a lot more but I cant really talk about.  I've been very blue and my anxiety has come back.   Life is just so hard.

I'm going to try to come back more regularly.  Its not that I don't want to.  I miss my blogging friends so much!

Going thru motions

So remember that stye i mentioned, yeah so i cant make this crap up, It turned into full on cellulitis and my left side of my face swelled. Had to go to Dr and get on 2 antibiotics- one oral and one a cream directly on my eye.  A week later, i saw a specialist who then prescribed me drops that i do 4 times a day.  Its embedded in my lower left eye and i have to get it sliced out next Tuesday.  Its a joy!  Last week my AC went out 2 Sundays ago to be exact and the soonest i could have repair was last Friday.  So for 6 days it was 85 to 89 degrees inside my home.  My pool pump also broke.  There was no cooling down in the pool because in the heat with no pump it turns into full on black lagoon. To add was a tight critical deadline at work and my roommate moving in on Saturday.
I  can only laugh. I told a friend that at any time i expected the plague of locusts to come and i'm ready.  When i feel i like i'm doing somewhat ok, i have a setback or 4.  My emotions are unsteady again and that's hard.  I still have cried every single day since June 16.  I am amazed my body can still produce tears but there is endless supply.
Its October now and i am debating on decorating like i usually do. I have a few things out but i just don't know.... For those who know me understand that i look forward to October and Halloween all year long and i genuinely get depressed on November 1.  I canceled my annual HOLLIWeen party. That was hard to do but i just get do it with all i have going on.  Maybe next year.
That's all for now.  Please send prayers and juju and light and whatever is good my way.

Another hard step

I'm still in rearranging mode in my home. I'm having to still make room for my roommate and stuff is everywhere.  I need closet space and my wedding dress was in a huge box after being preserved. My sister n law came over and told her i needed to get rid of it and i didn't want to bother trying to sell it. My first choice was to donate to Angel gowns.  This is an organization that creates baby burial gowns from donated wedding and formal dresses . They're given to families who have suffered the loss of a child before, during or shortly after birth.   They actually have so many donations that there was a waiting list for them accept your donation.
My next option was the successful one. There is a shop about 40 miles from the house called We're all about the Dress.  This is straight from google:
About us

"We want to make sure every military bride and every prom lady feels like a princess when they walk out of the store."

Our Mission
To provide free prom dresses for teenagers whose parents do not have the financial resources, an provide military and fire, police and EMT brides with free wedding gowns.
The Founder
Janie Tillery-Wood founded the non-profit project "We're All About the Dress" in 2008. During their first two years of operation, they expanded their services to cover not only Birdville Independent School District but the whole State of Texas.
In 2013, after the loss of her brother, a retired U.S. Navy Seal, Janie decided to give back to the military by offering wedding dresses and accessories to military personnel of all branches.
In 2016, Janie added police and fire officers and EMT brides  to our giving in honor of their service to our communities

When we called , they said they were only taking size 12 and up and to just come straight over . If if was smaller, they couldn't accept it .  Fortunately my dress met the standards and we jumped in my truck and arrived at 3:39 and they closed at 4.    It was a very emotional drive home.  That dress represented everything wonderful to me.    I pray it makes the next person feel like a princess and bask in the beauty of the dress.  I remember the day my friends and i went wedding dress shopping. One of the most special days of my life. When i put my dress on, everyone said immediately that this was the one!!  I tried on dozens but i went back to that one.    So now its gone.   There was no reason to hold onto it.  
Please send strength.

Almost laughable

So the crutches are exhausting and I've given up. I'm wearing the ankle brace and limping but cant do the crutches. I have to go everywhere with my cushion for my tailbone.  NOW i have a HUGE stye in my left eye. Yall it hurts soooo bad. It hurts to blink . My eye is so swollen that its halfway down my face.  It feels like someone punched me and they might as well.   I am beginning to wonder if someone doesn't have a Voodoo doll of me and currently there is a pin on my ankle, tailbone, back and face.  I dare to even think whats going to be next.  So sad that just a stye can make my head hurt and feel like crap but i do. I think its from not being able to see too well from my eye half swollen.  It must be really infected.  Why do something half-ass?!
I already told my boss that if it looks and feels this way tomorrow i have to go to Dr.  Please send good healing thoughts and for a protective bubble around me.  Yall its got to get better.  I have cried every single day and now i'm wondering if my tear duct is revolting against me!!
Have a great rest of your week.  I am putting a hot paper towel as a compress on my eye at the moment.....

Cant catch a break

Hey yall, so i didn't post last week at all. I had a trillion things to get done in preparation of my estate sale all while being injured. So August 31 ( Labor Day weekend) was my wedding anniversary. I woke up crying and knew it would be a hard day.  Two of my good friends came to spend the day with me. Our plans were to go eat lunch,  buy a new TV and then tackle my house to get more organized and stuff put out for sale. We managed to eat lunch and went to Walmart and i bought a new TV ( my old one kept humming real loud and i couldn't watch anything).  We got back to the house to drop off TV and my friend Debbie was working on my pool pump and changing the timer. I was going to see her do it and as i walking stepping down the 2 concrete steps, my left foot twisted while my right foot was in air stepping down. My legs went right out from underneath and i slammed into my steps. My ankle instantly swelled to size of grapefruit and i busted my tailbone .   The only blessing to this was that my other friend that was there used to be head nurse for major hospital in Dallas in the ER for over 20 years and she's now on an elite Trauma team at a different hospital. She knew what to do immediately.  My ankle is not broke but my muscle/tendon is strained. My tailbone could be cracked but i opted out of xray because there's nothing they can do it for anyway and so why spend money i don't have.  Needless to say i lost all that day including the following day to ice my ankle and sit in recliner.  I went to lunch with friend on Monday and i'm  using crutches. I am SUPPOSED to stay off my ankle but this happened 5 days before my estate sale.  SUCKS so bad!! My tailbone hurts the worst. It hasn't improved in the slightest and i had to buy a special pillow off Amazon to use while i work.  I bought a cheap inflatable donut from Walmart and it had a leak in it so its trash.

I just tried attaching picture and i got error that it cant copy over so not sure why.  :(
My sale was for last Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I sold a lot but i have so much stuff that i still needed to sell much more. On Saturday it was 103 and just too hot for people to want to shop and dig. I totally get it but i may need to do another sale in the early spring.  All in all though, i'm happy with what i made. Everything i sold is just that less i have to box up these next few weeks.  Since my whole life fiasco started, I've had big projects to focus on. I first needed to clear out my storage with all my inventory and get it to my house. That took a few weeks to get done. Then was to focus on setting up and going thru all tubs to get ready for the sale. Now that sale is over, i have to focus on getting all the shelves and inventory out of 2 guest bedrooms for my roommate to move in end of month.  Its a lot to do but i like keeping super busy with end results.  
So that's it for now. My house is chaos and i'm slowly putting things back to where they belong and packing up the guest rooms.

Hope you're having a nice week so far.

Downsizing

I am having an estate sale next weekend - September 5,6,and 7. I've got to downsize and sell as much as i can. I need the money and i need the space. I'm selling my side business with all my vintage and antique goods.  I have to get a roommate in October and i have a friend from church that is seriously considering it which will be great.
The sale is whats kept me focused and super busy these last 10 weeks. I had to get all my inventory and stuff out of storage and in my garage and back bedroom. Then I've had to go thru all my holiday tubs to select what i'm keeping and selling. I've got tables set up in my house and stuff all over. It does look like a bomb went off in my house.
I have sooooo much to do but it has been good to keep me busy and distracted.  I am anxious to get it over so i can start putting my house back together.  I discussed with my potential roommate what my plans were if many of my things sell and luckily i can use a lot of her furniture which makes her happy.
I sure wish all of you were local. I need to sell it all and i have SOOOOO much!
So , this Saturday will be our wedding anniversary and so i am super sad and anxious for the upcoming weekend. Please say a little prayer for me.  I've gone thru some tough dark moments and i don't want to spiral down in depression again.
This past weekend, a friend of mine flew in from Chicago to visit me and we rearranged my master bedroom. We moved the bed against another wall and i bought a new comforter set for the bed. Its a cranberry purple pink color and i love it! The changes made me feel good.
When he left, he took the iron and ironing board which was not big deal because he ironed much more than i did. However it is nice to have for the occasion you DO have something to iron. I bought an iron from Walmart but i stopped at salvation army yesterday to do a dropoff of some bags i'm donating and decided to go into the shop. I found a perfect green metal ironing board that was marked 7.99 and had blue tag on it. It happened to be the week of blue tags and things were half off.  So yay for me on my 4$ ironing board! Now i just need to buy a cover and pad for it.

I miss all of you and i'm sorry i haven't been visiting your blogs. I do hope and pray for me to see light and to get to place i can breathe and visit with you.  Please don't give up on me.

One minute at a time

Stronger- Sara Evans