When life gets hard

Hey everyone ( those that are even still around and didnt give  up on me), i cant believe its been over a month since my last post.  These last few weeks , life has been really hard.  There's always good to mix with it but combined its just been a lot! My mom flew in from Montana on February 16 to stay the month with us. During her long stay, she normally is passed around and stays with other family members  to visit. My grandma ( Nanny) went into the hospital on Saturday morning the 18th and has been there ever since. It began being just routine stay at hospital due to inflammation and swelling in her leg.  Nanny has diabetes and has a bad leg wound that wont heal. Its something we monitor very closely and its no big deal to go for a week once or twice a year to have IV's of antibiotic flow through for the infection and then have a wound nurse treat her leg when shes home.  She went in for that but then other things were found while having tests that werent good.  Things have been very touch and go and there was a few tense days and nights that we weren't sure she was going to make it through the night.   Having Mom here during all this has been a blessing because we've been driving to east Texas every weekend to see Nanny in the hospital and i know it would be even harder if Mom was still in Montana.  Its also been very emotional because for the first few weeks we were told that Nanny would be released so the plan was for Mom to go stay the week with her and take care of her but of course that never happened. Nanny continued to get worse and even had to be transported by ambulance to another hospital that was better equipped to take care of things such as dialysis that the other previous hospital didnt have.  She was in and out in daze and didnt recognize anyone or know why she was there. It was so hard to see her that way. She was swollen and in pain and it was heartbreaking. They got her started on dialysis and it made huge improvements! Nanny is now awake and can talk and recognizes everyone.  She just needs her kidneys to function.  We dont know whats next. Either she will be released to go home and have home healthcare assist and she will continue to get dialysis in nearby town a few times a week  or she may have to go straight to an assisted living center.
Mom has chronic Lupus as i think most of yall are aware of.  Stress makes lupus flare up and she's had some painful Lupus breakouts on her face, in her nose, on her head, etc.  She barely weighs 100 pounds and its been very hard to see Mom break down for fear of losing Nanny.  Emotions have been very high.  She also has very weak immune system due to Lupus which means its not good for her to hang out night and day at a hospital with all the other germs.  She feels bad that she cant be there everyday like her brother ( my uncle).  We 're doing what we can though because the hospital she's in is 3 hours away one way.  A lot of time in the car and that also wears Mom out.
The last 3 weeks i was also in a huge point of my job where i was training classes every day monday thru Friday for 4 hours a day.  That was 2 weeks straight.  There's been a lot of pressure and its still regarding our merge conversion so these people are just not happy at all to switch new systems that i'm training.  I finally was able to take one day off last week so that i could spend the day with Mom and i drove her to the hospital.   We have still managed to do some things that are fun and not stay completely in the house or go to hospital. We've had some visits with my friends that are also friends with Mom.  Mom and i went to see The Shack last Sunday and we've eaten out a lot. Todd has been traveling quite a bit too.
I also have a very very special dear friend that was diagnosed positively with prostrate cancer last week. Dr's said its not growing aggressively but its at medium speed. He goes in for consultation in a few weeks to determine which treatments he'll be doing , etc.   Makes me sad and scared but i know they can beat this since its been found early on.
I know i have also mentioned a few times about my friends grandson in Boston. Ari was on a heart transplant list and was also getting worse every week. Just before Christmas, the Dr's said that Ari couldnt go home until he leaves with a new heart.  By Gods Grace he got his transplant a few weeks ago too.  Just found out today that his little body is rejecting it. THEN their home has black mold and they have to completely demolish the home and rebuild and insurance isnt paying a dime. My poor friends are really dealt with some hard things right now.
I have missed blogging. Usually when i get so super stressed, i blog because it helps and its an emotional outlet. I literally didnt have time or the energy to post until today.  I feel like Debbie Downer and Doom and Gloom but i cant help it.   I am also so thankful and blessed to what i Do have and things going right.
I have missed my blogging friends and i hope 6 weeks dont go by again unless its something wonderful.  Oh and this Friday i am having gallbladder surgery. I've been in lots of pain and looking forward to hoping it eases up.
Life is hard but we just have to keep plugging along and take advantage of all windows of opportunity to do what you can .

Mom and i were in traffic and not even moving for 12 minutes so we took selfie

This is the day that Mom arrived

Quick selfie of brother and me with Mom

Had dinner with inlaws one night

Took Mom for yummy BBQ and fried okra

Lunch with friend Wendy and mom after church

My cousin Monya and myself with our sweet Nanny

Mom and Nanny

When the kids came we got into hot tub later that evening. So fun!

Mosh posh of stuff

Yall!!! I really did not mean to let so much time go by after my last post.   The A to Z challenge though did kick my butt and I moved the second week of the challenge. I am STILL unpacking but I have most done. I think I’m finally heading downhill with some progress.  Todd had the idea of hosting a small Memorial party at our house and so that has me motivated every night.   

One of my best friends (Kimi) is married to a construction contractor (Craig) and 2 weeks ago, they came over and he built me a kitchen bench with storage. It was a huge game changer for me because I desperately needed the storage space. Our house is so much smaller and we lost tons of cabinet space and storage .  Todd painted it last weekend and I have a friend sewing a bench cushion for us. I will just use throw pillows for the back.  I knew I wanted one when i saw that our dining area had the space for it.  We paid for all the materials and he built it for free as a house warming gift.  So awesome!!

This is the unpainted version. It's now white to match the walls. 

My birthday was Tuesday of this week and so I’ve had some dinner plans after work and didn’t feel like blogging once I got home.  I’ve been having a terrible terrible time with allergies this year and they got the best of me yesterday.  I think I  have a full on cold again which is just great!!! I feel like Poo again and my nose is raw from blowing and rubbing all day long.

So do you guys use Facebook? I will admit that I’m a huge social media fan of Facebook, Instragram and Pinterest. I use Twitter too but mostly in spurts.   Anyway, I love it when its my birthday on Facebook!! I had over 200 friends post Happy Birthday to my page.  It absolutely made my day and reminded me of how lucky I am to have good friends and family.   One of my favorite gifts I received was from my Sisternlaw Paula. She is so talented and is a high school art teacher.  Paula painted portraits of Jax and Lila in costumes.  They are so dang awesome!! I cant wait to hang them on the wall soon.  Whats funny, is that I held the painting of Lila close to the ground to show her and she came right to it like almost in a little jump.  Todd and I both laughed because she recognized something. 

A friend made this meme and posted to my page on my birthday. Jax and Lila in our chair. Lol

May is Lupus Awareness month and I know if you ARE friends with me on FB you’ve seen that I’ve had my profile, cover and posts about Lupus. Well tomorrow is May 20^th and is Put on Purple Day. Purple is the chosen color for Lupus and its just a way to have people ask questions and be more aware.  I actually work from home tomorrow but I will still have my purple on and would love it if you wanted to join in. 

There is not a cure for Lupus yet. It only gets worse. My mom has Lupus and its changed her life dramatically.  Its all she can do to just get out of bed and move to the living room chair.  Taking a shower is an accomplishment some days.  I do this for her and for my sweet friend Marla who is much younger than me and has Lupus. She’s an amazing young woman with quite a story!!
If you want, you can tag me on FB, IG, or send me email of you wearing purple......

Have a great weekend!

"L" - Lupus

My sweet little momma just recently left from her 4 week visit here in Dallas.  I sure loved every minute of having her close. Mom lives very far away in Montana and usually we only get to see each other once a year.

Mom has Lupus. She was diagnosed with it about 12 years. Truthfully we believe she was misdiagnosed for many years leading up to that. She was told she had Chronic Fatigue, Epstein Barr, and other wrong illnesses at one point or another. 

I have slowly watched Lupus change my mom in drastic ways. It's killing her. Literally. She's been in hospital on life support twice in the last few years. It's affecting her kidneys and other organs. The treatments are forms if chemotherapy.  

When she was here, there were days that just getting out of bed and walking to the couch was all she could accomplish.  The days she was able to shower , get dressed and go to lunch or out to dinner, completely wore her out.  She had a few lupus flare ups on her head and her face during her stay.  My heart breaks every day.  There is no cure. The treatments tend to differ as well from doctors and states you're in. In little bitty Timbuktu Montana- her doctors are learning about lupus more and more to help her.  

All images were borrowed from Pinterest. 

Do you know anyone with Lupus? Were you aware of how serious it is?  There's got to be more awareness.  May is lupus awareness month and May 10, is world lupus day. I wear purple which is the color chosen for Lupus ribbons and shirts.

I get by with a little help from my friends: Beatles

Have a great Thursday y'all! 

Inching along

Wow- I totally didn’t expect to be gone for so long.  Mom left to go back home to Montana this past Saturday.  I really enjoyed having her for the last few weeks.  Her chronic illness Lupus really determines our days. There would be 2 or 3 days in a row each week where her biggest accomplishment would be getting out of bed and maybe dressed.  We had so many things we wanted to do but never did get to them.   I am so grateful for my job and my bosses who allowed me to work from home to keep her company and not be alone.  One week I had classes every day and I went into the office the first part of day but then would come home during lunch hour for rest of the day.  I am so blessed!  Just having Mom in the room or the next room when I was in office was comforting.   My baby brother Jeremy, my SIL Sarah and my nieces Maci and Brynna came down one weekend to spent time with Mom and the following weekend that came again minus Sarah. It was so awesome having my family all together. My grandmother Nanny also came to stay 4 nights with us so she could continue her visit with Mom and to see rest of the family. My cousin Jadona came over one night when everyone was there and we had a nice big family dinner. Mom did get to eat out at a few of her favorite spots before she left so all is good there too.  My heart was full and happy that weekend for sure. 

My last post I mentioned walking away from a house that we had contract on. The inspection showed too many big things that would be very costly and it didn’t work out.  Fast forward a few days later from losing that house, and Todd found a house he loved.  With the market as crazy as it is- we literally put contract on the house sight unseen from me.  Todd tried to facetime me but the screens kept switching sideways to upways (?) and I had to hang up. I told him it was like watching Blair Witch project and I was getting dizzy).  I got to see the house the day we had that house inspected and it’s a GO.  There are a few things on our priority list to be fixed but its basically move in ready and we are closing in just a few weeks.  Mom was with me when we got to see the house for the first time and I ‘m so happy she got to see it. Now she can visualize what I’m talking about when we’re in the house. Oh and we have a pool!! Yippee!!

Now it goes without saying that my stress level is off the charts right now! Todd is traveling every week now and has been gone for 3 nights almost every week.  We don’t have a single box packed. I did bring home some boxes though last night so that makes me happy.  Baby steps and deep breaths.  I have soooo much stuff to move that its overwhelming.  I tossed it back and forth on whether I should have a garage sale or not.  Trouble is closing is in a few weeks but we have Easter this weekend so I don’t see much packing being done.  I’d rather take time to pack and be ready then to use 2 days for a garage sale. I can always have a sale at new house.  I have donated tons of stuff on a weekly basis too so that helps.   But, if I had a garage sale that would be less to move and the money could go towards the boxes and moving company.  Ugh- so undecided!

So that’s what I’ve been up to.  Its very stressful to get all the upteen million documents to the mortgage company, prep for moving, include family visits in there, all while working full time job.  Going crazy for sure. I have had a few days of depression but I’m sure it was stemmed from the stress too. 

Have a wonderful Easter this weekend everyone.  Todd and I are dividing and conquering this holiday. He’s going to our church and then to his parents house where my inlaws and brother n law and sis nlaw will be. I am going to church at my aunts with my grandma Mimi and stepmom Deb, then having lunch at my cousins house.  Its important to spend time with my stepmom right now.  I haven’t seen her much this last month and this is a first of many holidays without Daddy.  Oh and did any of yall catch last Sunday’s TV special  The Passion that was written by Tyler Perry and in New Orleans?  Holy Cow was that so cool!! They basically told the story while using current rock and country songs.  Amazing!!

Miss yall and I promise I’ll be back one day and my hope once moved to go back to old self who blogged weekly.  

Put on Purple May 15 ( Friday)

Hey y'all, Just wanted to let you know that this Friday is Put on Purple day for Lupus Awareness.
May is Lupus Awareness month and every year they have a date to Put on Purple.
This is from Lupus Foundation website:
Join the growing number of individuals, communities, media and celebrities that Put on Purple™ for lupus awareness and tell people why. Getting your purple on is an easy way you can help the Lupus Foundation of America raise awareness of lupus and show support for those who are living with the disease.

SAVE THE DATE: Put On Purple on May 15, 2015

 Take a picture of yourself or have someone take pic and upload it to social media with hashtags #POP and #knowlupus  . You can tag me and say you're doing this for my mom ( Donna) , or my friend Marla at Luck Fupus, or maybe you know someone that has Lupus that you're doing it for.
Its something easy and free but will get the awareness out there.  Wear something purple folks!


I'm packing my purple to wear on Friday since I'll be out of town and I already moved into my purple purse for the occasion.

Thank so much and have a great weekend!!

L is for Lupus

I HATE Lupus!! Its LIFE-changing and slowly wearing my mother down.  If you type in Lupus in Google you will see this:

Lupus: Also called: SLE, systemic lupus erythematosis

An inflammatory disease caused when the immune system attacks its own tissues

That butterfly rash you see- its painful.  The rash can be on top of your head and inside your nose and places that are tender. 

I got the rest of this pictures from Pinterest.  There's a lot of information out there.

My mom has had some terrible seizures and her depression is like no other.  She used to never suffer from depression. The headaches are downright crippling. She cant get out of bed sometimes from her head hurting so bad.

 

My dear friend and blogger Marla has Lupus and her posts have helped me tremendously on understanding what mom lives through.  Its called Luck Fupus and you will love her honesty.  Go visit her and tell her I sent Ya!