K for Kids

I've posted only a few times on my blog about my having kids. Mostly in the fact that I couldn't have any.  I have a few things going against me in the whole baby department.  It's pretty personal but  honestly now at my age- I have nothing to hide.  To start I have endometriosis, uterine fibroids and uterine cysts , PCOS ( polycystic ovary syndrome )and a tipped uterus.  It just wasn't in the cards for me to bear children.  With all I had going against me, I also had to have some permanent procedures a few years back that sealed the deal such a a tubal ligation and a endometrial ablation. Not to overload with details but I had no choice due to the excessive bleeding and abnormal monthly periods. Surgery was my only option to have a piece of normal life.  

Truth is for the most part I am and have always been Ok with these cards that God dealt. I think I always knew even as a teenager that I may not have kids and so I started at a young age pretending I didn't want them.  I was always going to be a business women and have a career first.  I also had a few long term relationships where neither of my boyfriends wanted children.  It wasn't  until I reached my 40's that being childless started to hurt.  I have a few times a year that I have a pity party for myself and have a good ol ugly cry.  I've pretty much excluded attending any baby showers.  What can I add to the conversations?  Understand though- I am truly genuinely delighted and excited for my friends and family.  I've not once asked why them and not me.  I don't have an ounce of anger or sadness when I hear the news of someone else expecting.  Pinky swear!!  

It's the whole deal of not having someone to pass my possessions too and to visit me at the nursing home. I have a wedding dress that I can't hand down. Silly stuff like that is what makes me sad.  I've lived a very full life up until now and not sure what it would have been like if kids were included.  I traveled a lot more with my job a few years ago and I couldn't have done it with kids. 

The good news is that Todd has 2 kids from his first marriage so I became instant stepmom.  They are teenagers and they are great kids! I have 4 nieces and many friends who's kids call me Aunt Holli.  I am blessed with children that love me and that I can love on whenever I want.   

People sometimes pity me or can't understand why I didn't have kids.  It's no ones business.  I wish others would stop and realize that we didn't ask for these decisions that were made for us- we just learn to live them with and accept them an enjoy life no matter what. Mothers Day gets to be a little harder.  I have friends and family that struggle with infertility and that's who i cry for.  They ache for a baby. I didn't marry until 2 years ago and I'm in my late 40's. I'm sure that had I married at a younger age, I would have a different story.  As for me now, I have 2 awesome furry babies that I adore. 

Have a wonderful day!! I'm currently flying to LA today because I'm training classes all week in our Downey, CA office. My best friend from college lives close by and I'm so excited to visit her. Matter of fact , her 3 kids have always called me Aunt Holli.  

J - just another day

So we were going to go away this weekend originally with a large group of our riding buddies to Hill Country. The forecast promised of lots of rain so everyone cancelled. Todd and I still wanted to get away and had planned to until today and we changed our mind. Btw, I'm writing this now on Friday. 

We our going to Ohio next month for a band reunion that Todd plays in. We already booked our tickets and so its a done deal.  Then as mentioned on my D for Donna post- I want to visit Mom this year and go to a wedding in Idaho. 

It was decided that we need to save what money we can to our planned trips.  Not that it was going to be too expensive this weekend but with gas, hotel, meals and any other it does add up. 

So today and this weekend is just like any other day. I have tons to do around the house and We are going to visit Nanny now.  She lives 2 hours away so it's 4 hrs round trip.  She's worth it and I enjoy every minute with her I can. 

I have to travel all next week for work in Los Angeles and I need to pack for that too.  Sometimes it sucks being an adult and making responsible decisions. Haha

Yall have a nice weekend! 

The letter "I" - as in Me, Myself, and I

Here are some things about me that I like :

I like cowboy boots

I like Dancing

I like to read home and decorating magazines

I like my red pickup truck

I like dogs (A LOT)

I like sweet tea and lemonade (Arnold Palmers)

I like Jesus

I like riding behind my husband on the Harley

I like fried chicken

I like the ocean and beaches

I like silver jewelry

I like wearing my sunglasses on my head as a headband

I like my tattoos

I like travelling

I like to wear the same bracelets every day while I still have dozens I need to wear

I like wearing a cross necklace and have 4 that I switch out

I like driving real fast

I like music of all kinds

I like driving a Harley on my own when I’m not riding with the hubs.

I like  the color orange

I like guitars

I like waterfalls and bodies of water like streams, and lakes

I like stationary and cards but I don’t write enough

I like sleeping with the ceiling fan and a floor fan on me all year long

I like wearing hats

I like peach cobbler

I like Dallas Cowboys

I like shopping

I like my collection of bird cages

I like having dinner with my friends

I like crafting and repurposing

I like social media sites like PInterest and Instagram ( these are my links)

I like blogging and getting new followers and following them

I like this A to Z challenge so far.

Have a great weekend y'all!!!

" H" is for HOLLIween, Hair, Hill Country and Harleys

There are just too many choices to write about with the letter H right now so I chose more than one.
Right now in Dallas its been overcast with the promise of rain for the last few days. Its very humid and my dry frizzy hair has been HUGE!! My husband and my coworker have both commented how big it is this week. haha! I have countless of hair products in my bathroom that all claim to tame the frizz and they all are liars. Not one of them has been able to control the craziness. I've been wearing it up in a clip or in a braid these days.
If you are fans of the TV show Friends- I resemble Monica when she was in Mexico.

Halloween is my favorite holiday. Todd and I host a HOLLIween annual party every year the weekend before Halloween. I go all out! I have so much and I'm already thinking about this years' theme and decorations. It will be here before you know it! My friends love it and makes me happy that they look forward to it and come dressed in costumes.   Here are a few pics from past parties:

I've been a biker chick since I was a toddler. Literally.  When I was born, my dad had a bike, my grandfather, and both uncles all had bikes. My parents didn't have a car and so my grandparents had to bring me home from the hospital because they had a car.  I got my first helmet when I was four and my leather jacket soon after. My grandfather Poppy was very active in a few organizations and was officer in a few. We spent most of our vacations attending bike rallies.  I bought my own Harley 12 years ago.  I since sold that one and I bought my Dad's from him a few years ago when his health was really bad and we weren't sure he was going to have the transplant.  My husband has owned his own share of Harleys and I love that we have that in common.  I actually helped him study for his motorcycle license back when we were just friends.   This weekend we were supposed to go on a nice long bike ride with a group of friends ( around 12 of us) and ride to Hill Country.  We've had it planned for a few months and I requested Friday off for vacation. Unfortunately Mother Nature didn't care that we had this planned.  There's 80% chance of rain all weekend long.  The ride got cancelled yesterday.


Todd and I still really need to get away and so we are keeping our hotel reservations and driving down in our car. There are several wineries in that area and cute shops and I'm still looking forward to getting away. Hill Country is a few hours south of Dallas and its getting to be kinda touristy.  It has rolling hills and trees and clear lakes and its beautiful. Right now our Texas bluebonnets are in bloom and the Indian Paintbrushes and the highways are just gorgeous.  I am so excited to have a weekend with my honey and enjoying the scenery. Wished it was on the bike but we can go again.


So there you have it on my letter H today.  Today is my Friday so I am a Happy girl!

G Is for Grateful

I am so very blessed! I am in my late 40's and I still have both of my grandmothers which also happens to be 88 ( Nanny is 87 but will be 88 this year in July).  They both are independent and still live on their own and Mimi still has a car and takes it out every now and then in the daytime. 
I have both of my parents- Mom and Dad and I have a bonus mom (stepmom) that is incredible.  Sadly I lost my stepdad a few months ago in January.
My Dad had a double lung transplant 2 years ago in June and is making a great recovery. I am so grateful for those amazing skilled surgeons and for the lovely donor who saved my dad's life while their life expired.
I have a brother , a step brother and stepsister. I get along with all of them and we are pretty close.
I have 4 nieces who are so beautiful and smart and precious.
I have a husband who loves me and is supportive of me no matter what.
I have 2 of the cutest dogs a girl could ask for ( don't believe me? go see my letter A post).
I have a job that this September will be my 20 year anniversary. I love my job and I love what I do and I have the best coworkers that some are almost family.
I am so grateful that my job allowed me to travel to many places where I made lasting friends.
I am so grateful that my job allows me to keep my traveling perks such as miles and hotel points.
Because of those points I have been able to fly my mom to San Diego first class on our trip 8 years ago. I flew my grandma (Nanny) first class a few years ago to Montana. I've flown for free 3 other times to Montana to see Mom. I flew my cousins husband to Wichita, KS from Dallas. I was able to book free rooms for my Dad and Stepmom in Santa Domingo 2 different times when he was looking into stem cell research for his lungs (before his transplant). We have stayed many free nights in Galveston, TX on the beach and in Houston for a concert. I gave my brother a free weekend in downtown OKC for his anniversary at hotel.  I am so very grateful for those opportunities to still get away but stay on budget with the help of free rooms and to share my points with my loved ones.
I have family and friends that I can call and cry to and laugh with at any time I need them.
I have a church that knows me by name and sends me texts when I miss church because they missed me. I have a pastor that I can call at any time of day to ask for prayer when something is on my heart- even as little as praying for my root canal to go smoothly 2 weeks ago.
I have some health issues that are not serious or life threatening and are manageable.
I am so very grateful that I was born into the US and that I can vote and read and go to college and live a free life.
I have so much to be Grateful for and appreciative.  Please do not take this post as me bragging. I am simply reminding myself that I am a lucky girl to be me and not to take anything for granted.  Ever.

F is for Food

I love food.  I love all kinds of food.  I  am also a very finicky eater though.  Funny thing is that I have several cook books and hundreds of recipes pinned to my Pinterest folder but I actually hate cooking.  My husband enjoys to cook so I am ok.  I WILL and I DO cook don't get me wrong- I just don't get any enjoyment out of it.  I dated some very opinionated and critical men in my life and I received harsh criticism during the preparing and cooking of meals.  Not to mention the end result of whether it was edible or not. That ruined it and took the joy from me.  I still hope that one day I will want to choose to spend day in the kitchen to cook something awesome. Todd is so sweet and would never be that way too me but I guess the damage is done and it runs too deep and I'm nervous.
Here are a few recipes from MY Pinterest folder that has my interest. 

Happy Tuesday yall!!