Reasons to celebrate!

Hey everyone, how's everyone doing?  I am doing OK.  I can go 2 days in a row now without crying but I still cry on the other days.  I'm super busy at work and that has helped a lot! I like staying busy and occupying my time with distractions.
Last week, we celebrated my grandmother Mimi's 88th birthday. We had a nice little party at a restaurant that was centrally located between all of us.  We had a big long table in the back room and really had a nice evening.  Everyone was there and my stepmom Deb came too. I was so glad she came.  She also surprised along with Mimi,  my 2 aunts Brenda and Tammy and myself with a wonderful gift for us.  She had got a thumb print taken from  Dad before they took him away for cremation. There is a place that makes jewelry with the thumb print and on the other side a picture . I love it so much .  We all cried of course when we opened it.  I've worn it every day. 

I forgot if I mentioned to you also the place we were told about that makes jewelry from flowers? At Daddy's memorial, a cousin told us of this place that you send them a box of flowers used from the funeral, memorial, birthday's , etc.  They can make rosaries, earrings, belt buckles, a list of stuff.  I sent them a box a few weeks ago and it takes about 6 weeks for everything to be ready. My aunt, Mimi and Deb all wanted a rosary. I am getting a necklace and bracelet. I cant wait to show yall when I receive them.  If anyone is interested, leave me a comment and I can tell you the website.  Its a gal that does it out of Illinois.

Did I tell you that I bought a ticket for my mom to come visit from Montana last month? Well that time finally arrived and she got here this past Saturday.  Its sooo good to have her here.  Sometimes you just need your Mom and I don't want to even think about her leaving soon. I did book her ticket though to stay a month. Its been since my wedding that she's been here in Texas so she has family to visit.  The week after next I will have both my grandma Nanny and Mom here and that will be awesome too! My friend Kimi came by on Sunday to visit Mom and tonight my cousin Jadona and friend Di are coming over to visit. Mom makes an amazing spaghetti so dinner tonight is going to be yummy! Lots of visitors here and there but also she's had time for lots of rest.  Remember she has chronic Lupus and not in best health either. 

I am working from home this week so I can be with Mom and I am so very grateful to be able to do that. Its been raining and storming the last few days so good lazy days around the house.
I ran out of the sessions that was given to me from EAP for my counseling.  I then called our insurance through Todd's job and I got 3 more free sessions.  I need to book those soon.  I really do enjoy the counseling and not ready to be done just yet. I will admit that they haven't called me ( the counseling office) and were supposed to check through my insurance and call me back and never did.  I think I fell through the cracks but I wont blow them off just yet.

So that's it for now. I know my blogging has been sporadic. I want to get back in the groove. I will.  Don't give up on me. 

Winner of the battle-BOTB -Careless Whisper

Hey everyone- thanks so much for your stopping by and voting for this battle between Seether and Ben Folds and Rufus Wainwright.  The winner of the battle is Seether 7-3.  I still have never voted for any of my own battles but if I did , it also would have gone to Seether. I just really love their music and it was fun to include one of my favorite bands in a battle.   In my opinion, Ben Folds would have received more votes if he would have left Rufus out of that song.  I don't doubt that Rufus is a wonderful singer and performer but that exact live performance wasn't strong.

I'm pretty sure I've posted this song before but here's another Seether song that I like.  Words as Weapons:

I've hit the ground running at work. I was out all last week and now I have a few projects and training that have to be done this week and next few weeks. I love it! I love staying this busy and I love actually training classes.  The busy schedule keeps my in check and I don't have much time to cry.  If I do cry its usually in the car on way to work and maybe a few minutes now.  Yall that's an improvement.  I've had my 4th counseling session this week and I only have 2 left that are provided from EAP.  I can tell you that I am glad I made the call and scheduled these.  I've been with my company for 20 years and not once used EAP and didn't even know what it was.  I'm grateful to have resources when I finally realized and admitted I needed them.
I do believe that 2016 will be a better year for me.  Monday was a year that my sweet amazing stepdad passed away.  This time last year I was preparing for his funeral.  I miss him a lot! Its tough also with Daddy being sick again.  Ok I am not going there now sooooo have a great day.

There's a light

Good news, I have an appointment next week with a counselor. I have never in my life seeked professional counseling before. I'm actually looking forward to it though. It will be nice to have someone to talk to that is removed from friends and family. They don't have license to prescribe medication but as mentioned before, I'm OK with that. Maybe I just need to cry my eyes out and spill all things on my heart and in head and that will be enough. We shall see. 

Here are some motivation quotes I grabbed from Pinterest. I really liked them all and it does help to read them.  

Loved that one!! 

Have a great day y'all!  

Just a little Unwell

I made the first step.  I called our company EAP line.  I get 6 free counseling sessions once i can find a counselor in my area that can take new patients. They are not licensed to prescribe happy pills which is OK. I"m not sure if i am ready to be on Zoloft or any other happy pill just yet.  I used to wake up happy naturally.  I'm hoping it comes back.  If not, i am all about trying something that will help.   So  i'm close but havent got any help yet.
Update on Nanny, the last few days she felt worse and her face looks really bad.  Mostly its still the pain in her arms and hands. They still hurt to touch them and she cant pull up her blanket when she's sitting in her chair.  If it doesnt get better, my uncle is taking her to a neurologist to check for severe nerve damage.  She's in better spirits as of yesterday and one hand hurts a smidgen less than it has.
I still cry everyday.  I havent replayed the scenario over and over like before but it still happens.

Tuesday they tore up my guest bedroom and hallway to fix the hot water pipe that had hole in it.  My head is finally not vibrating from all the jackhammering that went on.  So loud and they shook the whole house.  Now someone has to come and replace the hardwoods and a chunk of drywall they cut out from the wall.  Once they do that, i can move all my stuff back into the bedroom.  I had to empty that room completely and so i have a clothes, dresser, nightstand, and a million other things you can cram into a spare room all spread out in our den, master bedroom and the other guest room.  I cant put up Christmas next weekend until i can get house in order.  Ugh!!!

My brother n law and sister n law are finally getting married this Monday.  I've called her sister-n-law forever so now it will be official.  I am driving to their house in Ft Worth tonight to help with last minute decorations for the ceremony.  That makes me happy to have something joyful to look forward to.

This song says it all for me right now and yall know that Matchbox 20 and Rob Thomas are one of my all time faves ever!
 Unwell

Friends,  Your comments from my last post meant everything to me.  They made me cry but they were tears of gratitude and blessings.  Hey,i'm going to cry anyways so why not over sweet friends.
Believe me when i tell you that your kindness, caring and support really are getting me through my days.  I read them over and over and i wonder how did i get so lucky that God crossed our paths.
Thank you!